Tag: joy

Ignite Your Light, Change Your Life.

Every morning that we wake up, we are given a unique opportunity to approach the gift of this day from a place of peace that resides deep within us.  In this place, there is no self-judgement, no shame, no comparing ourselves to others, and no apologies for the things which make us different.  This is a place where we are fully connected to what makes us the fascinating, ever-changing, talented, powerful beings that we are.  It sounds like a dream, right?  Well, however elusive this magical place feels to you at this given moment, it may help to hear that it is so much closer than you think.  Right at your fingertips, actually, and all you have to do is learn how to access it.

We are brought into this world relying on others.  Our families keep us safe, warm, fed, and clothed, as well as offering us boundaries and rules.  Our teachers, communities, and peers expand on these boundaries, educate us, and offer us endless opportunities to connect.  We realize at a very young age the need for human connection, for without it, it would be impossible for us to thrive.  These are all necessary steps on our journey through this life, however, a problem can begin to arise when we put so much emphasis on what others can do for us, that we forget what we are capable of doing for ourselves.  This absence of recognition in our own abilities can lead to an extremely distorted image of self-worth.  This is often where our paths begin to veer from all that we are destined to become, instead moving us to a place where we settle for wherever we are.  This is the place where dreams are lost and life becomes a monotonous routine of daily tasks and disappointments.  Not to say that we are unable to find happiness, but that our happiness loses the technicolor it once held for us.  We find ourselves at a crossroad, where we feel disconnected from ourselves, without quite being able to explain what it is that’s making us feel this way.  This is a time of choice.  This is where we are confronted with the opportunity to access this place of inner reserve.

To our left, we see our life the way it is.  The landscape is flat and drab, but predictable and comfortable as well.  To our right, we see a mountainous terrain full of possibility and excitement, but also riddled with deserts of fear and unknowing.  We know that if we take a step to the left, we are choosing to be content with our discontent, and allowing our dreams to slip further from our grasp to possibly be rediscovered later down the line.  If we take a step to the right, however, we realize there is no turning back, for once we have begun to embark on this path, we will never again feel content living in the familiar.  If we choose to go right, we are choosing a path of self-discovery; one that will surely be difficult and scary at times and which will definitely push us far outside of our comfort zones.  We are choosing to shed our limiting beliefs and go in search of the truth that is burning deep in the core of our being.  We fight back our doubts, and allow that nagging curiosity to win out…we take a step to the right.

As the next leg of our journey begins, our light instantly begins to burn brighter.  We start to look at ourselves from an angle of interest.  Our passion is reignited as we dig through the layers upon layers of conditioned responses that have accumulated throughout the years, only to discover little gems of our own personal wisdom buried within the debris.  We begin to realize that we have been seeking outside of ourselves for answers that we had all along.  We start to remember that we DO know who we are, that we DO know what’s best for us, and that we CAN trust ourselves.  We begin to play games with the friend we have found in our intuition, testing its knowledge time and time again, to find that the more we trust it, the more keen it becomes.  With this dawning sense of self, our confidence is boosted.  We realize that we have something to offer.  We start to understand that we are here for a reason and that life is not just some series of banal tasks that need to be accomplished.  We start to take back the power that we have given away over the years, and the connection that we once desired begins to change shape.  We no longer feel the desire to be connected from a place of lack or need, but rather we long to be connected to bask in other peoples light, to shine our own out, and to lift one another up as we each continue on our paths.  Our passion is in full flame, and nothing can stop us from moving full steam ahead.

Oftentimes when we reach this place, we may feel the need to scream out to others, so sure that we have found the key to happiness.  However, we must remember that life is about balance.  Although we have found our way to higher ground, there will still be valleys we must cross, this time equipped with new tools to help us battle the shadows we find, both in ourselves and in others.  This journey is never over.  Each time we climb to a new plateau, there is another opportunity to climb higher still.  Perhaps we even go back down a bit before we ascend further, hopefully lifting others up with us when it is time again to climb.  You may even find yourself stagnant in one place for a while, but the best part about the journey is that you can never unlearn the things that you have learned along the way, and so inevitably it will continue eventually.  The first step is simply to take the first step.

There are so many ways you can do this.  Join a group in your community with the similar interest of embarking on a journey to their highest self, buy a guided journal, go on YouTube to access guided visualizations, start a meditation practice, or hire a life coach who you trust to help you navigate the journey (I know a pretty good one…  AHEM).  Whatever it looks like for you, take the first step, and I know you will be amazed to watch all of the next steps start to fall into place.  Life’s an adventure.  Live it up.

Please check out my website HERE or find me on FACEBOOK .

 

“Compassion is a verb.”

compassionate-700x500

Thich Nhat Hanh once said that “Compassion is a verb”.  A verb is a word used to describe an action. Compassion is defined on Dictionary.com as “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune”; a feeling…a noun.  Although there is a clear paradox in these two definitions, Hanh’s statement is truly powerful. He is implying that compassion is not a passive state of being…it’s not just a feeling.  The state of compassion points us to a need for action.

The world is currently in a sad shape, so surrounded are we by hatred, fear, war, and adversity.  Countries are bombing one another over the very things we should be coming together over.  God, no matter what name you call Him/Her/It by, should be a unifying force between us, and yet our need to be right continuously throws up senseless barriers.  Natural disasters are wiping out countries that are living in absolute squalor, yet we have building materials stocking shelves in every Home Depot across the country, sitting unused.  Children across the world are starving, and here we are with a Publix on every single corner.  I could go on and on and on.    We have all experienced that moment, watching the news, sick to our stomach at the turmoil we are seeing on the screen, wondering how people can do these things to one another, to the planet, etc.  We watch helplessly on, feeling sympathy for others in their suffering and wishing there was something we could do about it.  However, can you imagine what kind of a world we could create if, together, we put some action behind these feelings?

This post is not meant to be depressing, nor is it meant to be a rant about all of the things we are doing wrong as a society.  It is simply meant to raise awareness.  How are YOU showing up each day?  Are you putting action behind your compassion?  It’s so easy to get caught up in the feeling of being one, small voice, but we are each so much bigger than that if we simply TRY to be heard.  One small voice becomes two small voices, and then three and four, and eventually hundreds of voices getting louder and louder and louder, until perhaps the day comes where our voices boom louder even than the poverty, louder than the hunger, louder than the bombs ravaging countries.  However, if we allow ourselves to fall back into this helplessness we may feel, we are relinquishing any power that we could potentially have to positively impact our future and the lives of those around us.

Each of us will leave our impact differently.  Maybe we become the voice for those without the resources to speak out, maybe we raise money for a cause we are passionate about, or maybe we fly abroad to volunteer in impoverished countries.  Maybe our role in the process is as simple as lending an ear to someone who needs to be listened to, or offering a smile and a hug to someone who is going through a tough time.  All of these acts, no matter how big or small, matter.  YOU matter!  Your voice matters.  Your decision to take action rather than submit to the world as it is, matters.  SO. VERY. MUCH.

As we approach a new week, I urge each and every one of you to use each day within it to take some form of action.  Where does your compassion draw you?  What cause, circumstance, person, or charity needs your one, small voice, so that theirs can grow loud enough to be heard?  Start simple.  Write a blog, send a love letter, share a smile, buy the guy in line behind you a cup of coffee without telling him.  Every act of compassion ignites a spark in its recipient and any others lucky enough to watch it happen.  Be that spark.  We are all one family, all wanting the same things from this life.  Safety, security, happiness, triumph, peace, and love.  You, no matter who you are, have the opportunity to help provide these things to people all across the board, whether you know it or not.  Your one, simple smile could be just the thing that ignites the spark in another, who then goes off to change the world.  You never know how powerful you are, but know that you are far more powerful than you think.

Visit my website HERE or follow me on FACEBOOK HERE

 

 

The Power of Active Listening

listening

How many times have you had the same conversation over and over and over again?  There’s that one person who constantly feels the need to tell you their story, their hardships, their accomplishments, or what they said to the Comcast guy when he was late for their appointment….even though you have heard this story SO MANY TIMES!  Whether it be with your spouse, children, coworkers, bosses, or maybe the guy at the gas station, we often find ourselves stuck in these cycles of endless conversation.  It’s easy in these situations to get frustrated and cast our aggravations on the other person.  We ask things like, “Why don’t they get it?  We keep having this conversation!”, or “How many times is he going to tell me this?  He’s like a broken record!”   Think about one of those situations in your own life.  Get a clear picture of it in your head.  Imagine the words being spoken, see the other persons face.  Start to feel the reaction in your body.  Is your jaw clenching?  Maybe your shoulders are beginning to creep up towards your ears?  Are you crossing your arms?  Do you feel tired, bored, or drained?

Now, let’s switch gears for a minute.  Think of a time when YOU have been the one feeling like you have to say the same thing over and over again.  Maybe it’s reminding your kids to put their clothes in the hamper, nagging your spouse to help around the house without being asked, telling the story of that time you scored the game-winning touchdown…..in high school…..25 years ago.  Yep…we ALL do it.  Now try to pay attention to where it may be coming from.  Dig deep here.  Why do you tell this story?  How does it make you feel?  What’s your role in the story?  Are you the victim, hero, martyr?  What is it that makes you constantly go here?  Likely, you will come to the conclusion that, no matter how many times you are repeating yourself, you don’t feel as if you are being heard, appreciated or validated in whatever it is you are trying to express.

There is a big difference between listening and ACTIVELY listening.    We live in an age where it is not only easy, but NORMAL, to be bombarded by distractions everywhere we turn.  The smartphone pings one of several tones…you race to discover if it was an email, text, Facebook, Instagram, or voicemail notification.  (Actually, it was WordPress letting you know I just posted another RADICAL blog post, but I digress).  The point is, there are so many reasons NOT to focus on the person right in front of us, that why would we feel like we are being heard?  The sad thing here is that, as a society, we are losing focus on how important communication is, and in losing this focus, we are beginning to lack understanding of just how powerful listening can be.

When we create a space where someone feels truly listened to, the possibilities are endless.  When we hold a place for honest expression, stories begin to lose importance, because they no longer define the person telling them.  The story teller no longer feels the need to identify so strongly with these memories, habits, or routines which may have been holding them back.  Feeling truly heard, we are able to move on to better stories.  Imagine this…think back on a conflict in your life where you felt like your voice was not being heard.  Maybe you are fighting with your significant other, and it feels as though everything you say is being turned around.  Finally, you bow out of the conversation defeated, realizing that you are getting nowhere.  You feel a sense of hopelessness, perhaps some anxiety and frustration.  You call a friend, or your mom, or you sit down next to your dog, and they LISTEN!  THEY TRULY LISTEN!  Like, let you have the floor, freak the BEEP out, say everything and anything you need to say without interjecting, forming opinions, or offering unsolicited advice, cry, scream, punch a pillow…whatever it is, without judgment.  How do you feel?  A rush of relief?  A little silly for getting so heated?  Validation?  Whatever you are feeling, I can almost guarantee you when your significant other walks back into the room, the thing you were discussing so feverishly will have lost a lot of importance, because you no longer feel that burning desire to be heard.

Sometimes we just need to be heard, without being labeled as right or wrong.  It’s that simple.

I’m not suggesting that we need to enable our friends and loved ones who are stuck in these patterns, but am merely offering that perhaps if you truly listen to what they are saying, you might hear something entirely different underneath.    Are there those who are married to their stories?  Unfortunately yes, there are, but you don’t have to engage with those people.  However, if you are experiencing these cycles with people you love, than chances are there is just something not being said, or something not being heard.  Listen up, and you may be surprised at what you find.  The coolest part about this, is the more that we begin to incorporate it in our lives, the less we will find ourselves caught in these cyclical conversations, because people will feel as though we heard them the first time.

So, how can you bring this into your life?  Take the next 24 hours and observe your habits in conversation.  Notice if you are fidgeting, thinking about other things, fixated on an ant climbing up the wall behind the other persons head (I know…I’ve done it too).  Are you able to make eye contact?  Can you keep your thoughts directed on what the other person is saying?  Just observe yourself without judgement and begin to acknowledge how you might incorporate more positive interaction with those around you, and make THAT your practice for the following 24 hours.  Make a diligent effort to be a better listener and see what happens.  Take notes…write down any differences you notice in how others interact with you.  Share your results in the comments section below.  I’m excited to see if anything changes for you.

Visit my WEBSITE HERE or find me on Facebook.

Find Joy in the Little Things

17

I woke up early this morning….really, really, really early, and for some reason I just could not go back to sleep.  Typically this would annoy me, but I paused for a moment and listened into the sound of absolute silence throughout my house.  I took a breath, threw back the covers, and decided to shift my mental state and take advantage of this rare moment where my house was actually calm and quiet.  I tiptoed out to the living room, quietly closing bedroom doors as I passed, snuggled up on the couch under a blanket, and took some time to journal and read.  By the time my daughter (pictured above in her own beautiful expression of pure joy as she played on a beach in Maine) finally came out with the breaking of the morning sun, I was feeling completely relaxed and ready to start the day.

This is what finding joy in the little things means to me.  All it takes is that split second decision to change our mindset and choose to find a positive in whatever annoyance, boring task, challenge, unexpected situation, or unwelcome person shows up in our lives.  Do you know what I found?  As my morning progresses, I have been able to find joy in all sorts of other little things without even having to try, because making the decision to start the day off that way has set the tone and intention for the rest of it.  I found myself willing to sit an extra ten minutes this morning snuggling with my kids and asking them how their sleep was, as opposed to jumping up and rushing around.  I found myself watching their sweet, sleepy expressions more closely as they described to me the contents of their dreams.  I found myself giggling uncontrollably as my giant dogs tore out into the yard, exhilarated that the air was actually COOL this morning (always a big shocker when you live in Florida and are recovering from another brutally hot summer).  At the grocery store, I was so happy with every item I put in my cart, realizing how lucky I am to be able to provide my family with nourishing food.  I felt amazingly accomplished walking back into the house, laden down with grocery bags, knowing that the rest of the day is open to so many brilliant possibilities.  And even now, I find myself thankful for the opportunity to share these experiences with you…and I also find myself eager to post this so I can see where else I might find joy today.

Buddha said, “Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little,  and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so let us all be thankful.”   If we could all live by these words, how different our society would be!  If we were able to fill up on hope, possibility, curiosity, thankfulness, and little joys, even in the face of adversity…fear and hatred would be eliminated.  We don’t have to force others to feel this way, but we do have an obligation as part of our human family, to start with ourselves and begin to pay attention to where we are putting our energy.  Where could you start today to see joy in the mundane, the aggravation, or the challenge?  It’s still early in the day…press the reset button if you need to and start living from that place now.  Happy Sunday!

Visit my Website HERE  or join me on Facebook!