Ignite your brilliance – Intuitive Balance Coaching

“Compassion is a verb.”

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Thich Nhat Hanh once said that “Compassion is a verb”. A verb is a word used to describe an action. Compassion is defined on Dictionary.com as “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune”; a feeling…a noun. Although there is a clear paradox in these two definitions, Hanh’s statement is truly powerful. He is implying that compassion is not a passive state of being…it’s not just a feeling. The state of compassion points us to a need for action.

The world is currently in a sad shape, so surrounded are we by hatred, fear, war, and adversity. Countries are bombing one another over the very things we should be coming together over. God, no matter what name you call Him/Her/It by, should be a unifying force between us, and yet our need to be right continuously throws up senseless barriers. Natural disasters are wiping out countries that are living in absolute squalor, yet we have building materials stocking shelves in every Home Depot across the country, sitting unused. Children across the world are starving, and here we are with a Publix on every single corner. I could go on and on and on. We have all experienced that moment, watching the news, sick to our stomach at the turmoil we are seeing on the screen, wondering how people can do these things to one another, to the planet, etc. We watch helplessly on, feeling sympathy for others in their suffering and wishing there was something we could do about it. However, can you imagine what kind of a world we could create if, together, we put some action behind these feelings?

This post is not meant to be depressing, nor is it meant to be a rant about all of the things we are doing wrong as a society. It is simply meant to raise awareness. How are YOU showing up each day? Are you putting action behind your compassion? It’s so easy to get caught up in the feeling of being one, small voice, but we are each so much bigger than that if we simply TRY to be heard. One small voice becomes two small voices, and then three and four, and eventually hundreds of voices getting louder and louder and louder, until perhaps the day comes where our voices boom louder even than the poverty, louder than the hunger, louder than the bombs ravaging countries. However, if we allow ourselves to fall back into this helplessness we may feel, we are relinquishing any power that we could potentially have to positively impact our future and the lives of those around us.

Each of us will leave our impact differently. Maybe we become the voice for those without the resources to speak out, maybe we raise money for a cause we are passionate about, or maybe we fly abroad to volunteer in impoverished countries. Maybe our role in the process is as simple as lending an ear to someone who needs to be listened to, or offering a smile and a hug to someone who is going through a tough time. All of these acts, no matter how big or small, matter. YOU matter! Your voice matters. Your decision to take action rather than submit to the world as it is, matters. SO. VERY. MUCH.

As we approach a new week, I urge each and every one of you to use each day within it to take some form of action. Where does your compassion draw you? What cause, circumstance, person, or charity needs your one, small voice, so that theirs can grow loud enough to be heard? Start simple. Write a blog, send a love letter, share a smile, buy the guy in line behind you a cup of coffee without telling him. Every act of compassion ignites a spark in its recipient and any others lucky enough to watch it happen. Be that spark. We are all one family, all wanting the same things from this life. Safety, security, happiness, triumph, peace, and love. You, no matter who you are, have the opportunity to help provide these things to people all across the board, whether you know it or not. Your one, simple smile could be just the thing that ignites the spark in another, who then goes off to change the world. You never know how powerful you are, but know that you are far more powerful than you think.

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Find Joy in the Little Things

I woke up early this morning….really, really, really early, and for some reason I just could not go back to sleep. Typically this would annoy me, but I paused for a moment and listened into the sound of absolute silence throughout my house. I took a breath, threw back the covers, and decided to shift my mental state and take advantage of this rare moment where my house was actually calm and quiet. I tiptoed out to the living room, quietly closing bedroom doors as I passed, snuggled up on the couch under a blanket, and took some time to journal and read. By the time my daughter (pictured above in her own beautiful expression of pure joy as she played on a beach in Maine) finally came out with the breaking of the morning sun, I was feeling completely relaxed and ready to start the day.

This is what finding joy in the little things means to me. All it takes is that split second decision to change our mindset and choose to find a positive in whatever annoyance, boring task, challenge, unexpected situation, or unwelcome person shows up in our lives. Do you know what I found? As my morning progresses, I have been able to find joy in all sorts of other little things without even having to try, because making the decision to start the day off that way has set the tone and intention for the rest of it. I found myself willing to sit an extra ten minutes this morning snuggling with my kids and asking them how their sleep was, as opposed to jumping up and rushing around. I found myself watching their sweet, sleepy expressions more closely as they described to me the contents of their dreams. I found myself giggling uncontrollably as my giant dogs tore out into the yard, exhilarated that the air was actually COOL this morning (always a big shocker when you live in Florida and are recovering from another brutally hot summer). At the grocery store, I was so happy with every item I put in my cart, realizing how lucky I am to be able to provide my family with nourishing food. I felt amazingly accomplished walking back into the house, laden down with grocery bags, knowing that the rest of the day is open to so many brilliant possibilities. And even now, I find myself thankful for the opportunity to share these experiences with you…and I also find myself eager to post this so I can see where else I might find joy today.

Buddha said, “Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so let us all be thankful.” If we could all live by these words, how different our society would be! If we were able to fill up on hope, possibility, curiosity, thankfulness, and little joys, even in the face of adversity…fear and hatred would be eliminated. We don’t have to force others to feel this way, but we do have an obligation as part of our human family, to start with ourselves and begin to pay attention to where we are putting our energy. Where could you start today to see joy in the mundane, the aggravation, or the challenge? It’s still early in the day…press the reset button if you need to and start living from that place now. Happy Sunday!

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Let Yourself Dream BIG…

If I could give you one piece of advice today, the title of this blog post sums it up. Let yourself dream BIG! I’m not talking kind of big, or a little big, or big just to the point where it feels attainable….I’m talking REAL BIG! Envision your life exactly the way you would ideally love for it to be, and actually allow yourself to marinate in it for a bit. Set a timer, lay down somewhere super comfy, close your eyes, and see it all up close and personal. Imagine it as though it were the most natural thing in the world. Walk through the corridors of your mansion on the water, feel the wind blowing through your hair as you race down an abandoned road with the top down in your new convertible, smell the decadent meals being prepared for you from your gourmet kitchen, gaze into the eyes of your soul mate as they happily gaze back, climb to the top of a mountain and listen to the sounds of nature and solitude, feel the burn of the warm sand on your back as you relax beneath a cloudless, blue sky with the sounds of the ocean crashing on the shore. Let yourself be fully present to all of these sensations, and make time to do it EVERY DAY!

I know where your mind might be going right now…yep, I’m onto you. “Here she goes…she’s read too many damn New Age books and thinks that doing all this is going to miraculously manifest all of these things into my life. Well, it sounds like bullshit to me.” Well guess what? I have some good news…it sounds like bullshit to me too…and miraculous manifestation is NOT what I’m suggesting. Does that stuff work? I’m sure it probably does for some, but for the rest of us, it probably takes a little more determination, flexibility, hard work, and bravery to achieve real tangible results. So what IS the point of all of this daydreaming?

Daydreaming is what’s going to keep your soul alive and bursting with creativity as you move through the challenges, speed bumps, and even the little victories, that will inevitably appear as you continue on your life path. The fact is, making your dreams come true WILL take effort on your part, but that doesn’t mean that it has to suck. Taking the time to reconnect to the grandiose vision of your perfect life that you have in your head, reignites the spark and fuels the fire of whatever end result excites you. It also keeps you open to the possibilities that truly exist. Success, happiness, peace, balance, health, vitality, prosperity…these are not things solely available to those born to privilege or to gurus, wise men, or other spiritually enlightened beings. These gifts are available to each of us, although our path to achieving them will look different across the board. If somebody handed you a present with your name on it, would you say, “No thanks, I’m cool.” or would you eagerly grab the present, rip the paper off it, throw back the damn lid and WOO HOO with delight at the sparkly ball of possibility that sat inside? Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’d politely refuse too…..NOT!

So what’s the next step? Maybe all this daydreaming stuff still feels a little weird to you. Maybe you are a little curious. Hell, maybe you’re not even reading this anymore because you are laying on your bed with your eyes closed and a big, silly-ass grin on your face! Wherever you are, it’s the perfect place to start. Grab a journal, answer the questions I’ve listed below, and start creating this vision for yourself. Go BIG…remember, we’re talking REAL BIG! MTV Cribs BIG, Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous BIG, Harlequin romance novels BIG….they are your dreams….OWN THEM. You have them for a reason! Are you ready? Good! Remember to get as specific and detailed as you can. Grab a pen and write this down:

In my ideal vision of my life:

What does my romantic life look like?

Where am I living?

What am I doing for work?

How much money am I making?

Who am I friends with?

Where/when/how often am I vacationing?

What are some risks I am taking or ways I am challenging myself?

How am I giving back to others?

What does my spiritual practice look like?

Okay, this is a good start….now KEEP GOING! Write so much your hand hurts and your heart is pounding from all of the excitement you’ve generated. And then read it back to yourself, add anything else you might want to add, and read it again. Read it every day. Dream it every night. Make it your mantra. And start taking REAL steps towards making it happen EVERY SINGLE DAY! That will be different for each of us, but choose just ONE thing. Maybe you are looking for a new relationship, so each week you commit to going on one date, or putting yourself in one place that would be good to meet your ideal mate, or going to get yourself a makeover so you feel amazing and bold and ready to knock ’em dead.

We are all rock stars in our own rights. YOU have the key to your happiness. You won’t find it anywhere else. Dream big and open some doors!

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Pre-conditioning….and a Dog Named Bacon

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I have an 83 pound Pitbull named Bacon. His name is Bacon because he is the biggest, snuggliest, goofiest meathead I have ever been lucky enough to encounter. However, this is a fact that is often overlooked. As we walk down the street together, Bacon leading the way, it always makes me giggle to see how this giant lump of love is so negatively perceived by passerby. Of course there are those who will stop and offer him a well-received pat on the head, but for the most part, people steer clear. Why am I telling you this and what does it have to do with coaching, right? Well, it’s a great example of how we are preconditioned to certain beliefs. We live in a society that has created a stigma around Pitbulls, and so now, our general reaction to them stems from a place of fear. Do you see where I’m going with this?

Where else in our lives are we preconditioned to faulty beliefs? When the foundation of our belief system is shaky in any certain area, it will inevitably impact all of the other areas of our lives, so it is important to note these places and redirect our thoughts. Maybe you were raised in a family that struggled to pay the bills, and now you believe that money is the root of all evil.. Maybe you were raised in a household where children were meant to be seen and not heard, and now you struggle to find your voice as an adult. Maybe you were raised in a home where your creative mind was not encouraged to thrive and now you are feeling stuck and as though something is missing from your life. The funniest part about all of this is, is that you may feel in these limiting ways without any knowledge of where it’s all coming from. But….the coolest part about your brain? You can rewire all of these outdated modes of thinking. Think of it like this….you’ve been driving around in a rusty, beat up junker with manual windows and no AC, but the whole time you’ve had the keys to a brand new BMW in your pocket. Why wouldn’t you take it out for a test drive, right? This is how it works with your thoughts. You are not destined to feel this way forever, pending you CHOOSE to make some changes and learn to reorient to different ways of thinking. Why wouldn’t you give it a try, especially if doing so was almost certain to make you feel happier, lighter, more excited about your life, calmer, and more confident. Sounds horrible, right?

So, now you are empowered with the knowledge that you DO have the strength and ability to change your thoughts. What are you going to do with it? Are you going to pass by the Pitbull, or stop and give that adorable little face a smooch? He’s waiting, tail wagging a million miles a minute.

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