Tag: compassion

10 Free and Simple Things You Can Do Today to Make Somebody Smile

1

As a general rule, I will pretty much do whatever it takes to elicit a good laugh out of somebody.  I’ve been known to do things like what you’re seeing in this picture for pretty much my whole life.  This particular instance was because my dear friend Julia, who you see in the background about to wet herself, was having a rough day and I took it upon myself to do what I could to make it better.  As you can see, it worked pretty well.  Now, please don’t get me wrong here.  I’m not suggesting that in order to make the world around you a lighter place you need to Scotch tape your face.  In fact, I don’t recommend it.  If I remember correctly, it really hurt to pull that shit off my eyebrows.  What I am suggesting, is that there is literally ALWAYS something that you can do to brighten up somebody’s day, and it takes such little effort.  Read on to discover 10 easy ways you can bring a little positive flair to somebody’s day starting now!

1.  Smile

Yep, legit the easiest way to help another person experience some joy in their lives is to smile at them.  You weren’t born with that beautiful visage for nothing!  Put what yo’ Mama gave you to good use by sharing it with the world.  You’ll most certainly inspire the recipient to do the same.

2.  Listen

Your ears…also there for a reason (other than being able to jam out to some really good tunes while lead-footing it down the interstate).  How often do you feel like nobody’s listening to you?  Sometimes all it takes is slowing down long enough to truly hear another person that will leave them beaming from ear to ear.

3. Crack a Joke

Sometimes life gets messy and really serious and it’s hard to see beyond the chaos that’s happening in the moment.  Dropping a relatively stupid and well-intentioned joke can be just the medicine to remind another person that this too shall pass and it’s okay to laugh.

4. Write a Letter

Let’s just be honest…it’s freaking awesome to get an ACTUAL letter in the mail.  Seriously, I’m just going to own it…my husband and I literally race each other down the driveway if we happen to both be home when the mail carrier comes.  90% of the time we find ourselves inundated with junk mail and bills we don’t want to open, but every once in a while there’s an unexpected letter and it’s like Christmas morning!  It feels good to know that people are thinking of you even though they might not be around.

5. Compliment Them

I’m not talking some sideways compliment solely intended to instill a feel-good factor.  I don’t do bullshit and I would recommend you avoid it too.  People see right through that and if they smile, it’s probably a bit of bullshit back at you.  No, I’m talking a real, genuine compliment that comes from your heart and reminds the person receiving it that they are valued.  One or two kind words can go a very long way in changing the course of somebody’s day.

6. Tempt Their Tummy

Why?  Um…because FOOD!  Yes, because FOOD is amazing and delicious and it makes people feel full and when people feel full of yumminess their brains send off little, happy signals all throughout the rest of their bodies and that makes them smile.  Also, because when you give people delicious food, they will feel compelled to share and that will make you smile too.

7. Random Acts of Kindness

There is something so incredibly gratifying about anonymously performing an act of kindness.  Donate your old towels to an animal shelter, leave your unused coupons somewhere the next guy might find them or let somebody merge into your lane of traffic even though you are in a rush (preferably without flipping them the bird).  These simple acts can help to change somebody’s day and who knows…they might even pay it forward.

8. Be True to Yourself

Believe it or not, one of the best ways you can make somebody smile is by owning yourself unapologetically.  People want to live out their own dreams, and when they see somebody else doing it, it’s a reminder that it’s possible for them too.  Why do you think those videos of human beings picking up cars and jumping from rooftop to rooftop trend so hard on social media?  Uh, because it’s freaking awesome, duh!  I’m not suggesting that you should attempt to walk on fire or swim the English Channel in nothing but your Speedos (unless that’s your thing), but embrace what makes you unique and let it shine.  People love to smile at that stuff!

9. Make Them Something

Again, people like to see other people doing what makes them happy.  When you are being creative, you are expressing yourself by doing something that makes your heart sing.  Passing this expression onto another person is like saying, “Hi, this is a big chunk of my heart that makes me super happy to create.  Would you like a piece of it?  Maybe it will make your heart smile, too.”  I mean, that’s a pretty awesome thing to share!

10. Scotch Tape Your Face

Well, c’mon…it works!  I mean, go back and take a look at that picture.  The girl is legit about to fall out of her chair.  Mission accomplished!  If all else fails, you always have this to fall back on.

Now that you know a few really, excruciatingly easy ways to spread some joy, get off your buns and go do it!   None of this takes money, a college degree, an abundance of creativity, or even very little energy.  All it takes is the genuine desire to share some love and make the world a better place, one smile at a time.  Go get ’em.

If you’d like to inquire about one-on-one coaching with me, please fill out the form below to reach out.  I will do my best to get back to you within the next 24-hours.

The Power of a Tribe and Divine Female Energy

thumbnail (2)At first glance, you may look at the above picture and believe that I am lost in a powerful moment of prayer, breathwork, or meditation, but I am here to assure you that this is not at all the case.  In fact, when this picture was snapped unbeknownst to me, I was in the middle of the ocean on a beautiful, sunny day, skin kissed by a warm breeze, in the throes of the most terrifying and life-altering panic attack I have ever experienced in my entire existence.  In fact, the story I am about to share with you was quite honestly one of the most vulnerable and powerful moments of my entire life.

My weekend adventure immersing myself in the warm, calming flow, and bold, brilliant colors of the middle of the Atlantic ocean started out amazingly well.  As my best friend and I jumped into the water with our masks and snorkels, I was instantly engulfed in the beauty and mystery of the coral reef below me.  I spent forty-five fascinating minutes exploring before we decided to head back to the boat, take off our gear, and go for an unencumbered swim.  I removed my flippers and mask, ran to the back of the boat, and jumped right into the crystal clear water.  I remember a fleeting thought entering my consciousness…”The world is SO big and I feel so small right now.” and all of a sudden I was gripped by panic.  My body became instantly cold and numb as waves of fear washed from my head all the way down through my toes.  I felt as though I couldn’t breathe, my heart racing a million miles per minute.  I couldn’t get out fast enough and when I did, it took every effort to suck in enough air to prevent me from passing out.  With forty other people milling about, I’m sure you can imagine that it wasn’t exactly helping the onset of panic.  As I sat on the front of the boat trying desperately to calm myself down, a realization hit me that I was completely vulnerable out here.  If I was indeed dying in this moment (as my mind kept assuring me that I was), there was legitimately nothing I could do about it.

I made my way cautiously back to my seat and something of a miracle happened then.   As I lifted my gaze to focus on the horizon, my eyes caught those of a woman across from me who was probably in her late 50’s, early 60’s.  She mouthed, “Are you okay?” to me, and my usually stoic composure crumbled as I mouthed back, “No.”  Without hesitation, this woman crossed the deck, sat down next to me, and swept me up in her arms.  She softly reminded me to breathe and to close my eyes as she rocked me back and forth and wrapped me up in her towel.  Another woman brought me water, and yet another encouraged me to eat a small snack.  At first, my typical self-preservation kicked in and I resisted the temptation to curl into the unknown comfort of this mystery woman, but gradually, I felt myself allow her to draw me in and I rested my head on her shoulder as she continued to squeeze me close.  This amazingly beautiful woman held me like this for a full 45-minute boat ride, never even knowing my name or anything about me…and I allowed myself in that moment to let go of all of my defenses and be taken care of.

As we neared shore and I began to feel more at ease, I sat up a little straighter and looked around me.  One by one, every woman on the boat locked her gaze with me and nodded, almost as though they, too, were breathing easier for me.  I was later informed by my best friend that the moment my body curled into this woman who had been holding me, each woman on the boat sat up straighter and closed their eyes, taking deep, methodical breaths.  She said it was the most incredible thing she had ever seen.  I thanked my amazing Angel Mama (who I found out was named Anne), and although she humbly accepted the gratitude, I don’t truly know if she understands what she did for me.  I don’t know that any of those women do.  I am notoriously a person who takes care of herself and others.  Rarely do I allow myself the opportunity to be truly nurtured, particularly by strangers, but these beautiful women from all over the world who spoke probably six languages between them, came together in a stoic show of support to provide a safe container for me to experience the very real terror and weakness that I was feeling.  I don’t want to exclude the men here either, all of whom tapped into their own Goddess energy and supported me by offering a smile, a squeeze as I walked off the boat, or as far as Anne’s husband goes, his wife.

When we got back to my car, I let myself cry harder than I’ve cried in a long time.  We often move through life forgetting that we need others to support us in our moments of weakness, maybe even sometimes feeling like we don’t deserve to be supported.   When we can cross over those self-imposed blocks, we open to possibility and allow Universal love to flow to us and even through us.  The truth is, it is always there, even when we don’t see it, and the scary thing is that if we let our fear of looking weak or vulnerable become greater than our need for love and connection, we may stand to miss out on the incredible freedom and power it can bring into our lives.

What I experienced this weekend was the power of love, the power of a group of women working toward a common goal, the power of the Warrior Goddess energy that exists within each of us regardless of our sex, and the power of treating others as though they are not separate.  At the base of it all, we are all humans, needing, seeking, and desiring love, acceptance, and the right to be ourselves at any given moment.  These women and men gave me a gift that I will work hard to pass on to others in any way that I can.  We often have no idea how great of an impact our small acts of kindness might have on another person.  As far as Anne and the other passengers on that boat go, they have unknowingly helped to heal some long-existing wounds that have prevented me from fully allowing myself to become close to others, females in particular.  They have helped to birth a better version of myself and have encouraged me to pass that feeling along. Hopefully, this story inspires you to do the same.  Let your Warrior Goddess light shine bright…the world needs it so badly right now and always.

Click here to visit my website.

The Importance of Boundaries

boundaries-2I have spent the majority of my life feeling like it was my job to help everybody and fix their problems, even if at my own expense.  This characteristic has not only gained me many interesting, if not sarcastic, nicknames over the years, but also several wounded wild birds, a beakless parakeet named Shaq, a one-eyed cat, a hedgehog, a cross-eyed kitten, an abandoned iguana and the somewhat adorable need to peel acorns for the squirrels as a small child.

As I grew up, these tendencies followed me into most of my friendships and relationships.  I refused to see peoples negativity, and instead always chose to focus on the good things hidden deep underneath of the surface.  I felt, in many ways, that it was a gift that I had been given, and wore my compassion proudly, like a badge of honor.  Although there is certainly nothing wrong with compassion, what I failed to realize in my youth, is that without my own boundaries in place, I was much more likely to end up hurt and confused without a clear understanding why.

Brene Brown said that “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.”  Over the past few years, I have done a lot of deep digging, not only to extricate the source of this need to save everybody but also to start to find healthier ways that I could use this gift of compassion to benefit others without beating myself up in the process.  As I have looked back through the scenarios mentioned in the first paragraphs, I began to notice that in many of these instances, my compassion backfired.  The birds would inevitably fly out of their shoebox nests in the middle of the night and scare the crap out of me, causing a whole-house effort to catch them and re-release them into the wild.  The parakeet constantly bit at me with it’s half-beak as I tried to convince it to climb on my hand, the one-eyed cat hated me, the hedgehog was terrified of me, the iguana tore my screened-in patio without remorse (and with no intention of paying for it when my lease ended) and the squirrels were probably bored as all Hell all throughout the winter due to my odd compulsion.  I began to realize that:

  • The need to save everybody/thing (without them asking) began from a place of selfishness.  By saving others, I was able to make myself feel better.
  • 99% of the time, I was putting in my two cents where it wasn’t necessarily solicited.
  • By being irrevocably there for others, no matter how many times or in what ways they hurt me, I was actually hurting us both by supporting their negative behavior and therefore, discouraging their growth.
  • That there are other, more positive ways to be present for people (and animals) through their times of struggles.
  • By giving my energy away to those who would rather do without it, I wasn’t saving any of that love and compassion for those around me who really did want it.

I set off to find balance, and I am just now at a place where I feel like it’s starting to settle in.  Of course, I want to remain open and compassionate to others who need it, but I have also begun to put boundaries into place that are unshakeable.  I’m realizing that to be supportive does not mean dealing with other people’s abuse or negativity.   It means living from a place of good intention and teaching others to shine out the brightness that they have within them…IF they want to be taught.

I have made a few very hard decisions in the past months, some of which, unfortunately, have caused me to close the door on relationships that have proven to be toxic to me in this moment, with the promise that if/when they choose to get healthy in their own boundaries, I will gladly reconvene.  I feel freer, lighter and more alive, not being weighed down by the energy of trying to save somebody who doesn’t want to save him/herself.  I think there is a misguided, yet well-intentioned belief in Spirituality (of all faiths) that in order to be “good” you must be a doormat, but that is not true.  You do good by teaching the weak to be strong, by teaching the sad to find their happiness, by teaching the poor to focus on all the things they have to feel rich about and yes, by searching for the good in everybody, even when they can’t see it for themselves.  The best way you can do that is to be a living example of strength, happiness, richness, and kindness and by putting up boundaries that teach other people how to treat you, with the unspoken understanding that they can teach others how to treat them as well.  It doesn’t mean that we have to turn our backs on people the first time they hurt us, but it does mean having open and honest conversations about how we are feeling when we have been hurt to avoid the same thing happening throughout the course of our relationships.

Just like everything else, our boundaries or lack thereof are a byproduct of the beliefs we have picked up along the way and what we have come to “know” about ourselves and our roles.  This doesn’t mean you are destined to be the doormat forever.  It means that right now, in this very moment, you are being given an opportunity to create healthier and happier boundaries within your existing relationships.  Start teaching others how to treat you now, and you may be surprised to find that you begin to attract much more positivity, love, joy, and honesty into your life.  Cheers to that!

To learn more about life coaching visit my website or call me at 561-951-7045 for a free consultation.

Release Your Fear, Free Your Mind: A Jedi Mind Trick to Turn Your Thoughts Around

maxresdefault

Let’s get real for a moment…there is a LOT of really scary shit going on in the world right now.  No matter how much you try to avoid the news, or social media, or your doomsday neighbor, you can’t really tune out of what’s happening around us.  Whether it be the myriad natural disasters occurring across the world, this crazy dude that wants to blow up the Universe, the largest security breach in American history, or whatever else is eking its way into your personal reality, let’s face it…it’s tough not to be afraid.  I had a client ask me yesterday how it was possible to be so joyful in the midst of all of this chaos.  Well, I don’t know if I have the answer for that, but I can certainly share my own process of staying sane.

Yoda (who in my book is the MAN and should run for president) said that “Fear is the path of the dark side.  Fear leads to anger.  Anger leads to hate.  Hate leads to suffering.”  Smart fella if you ask me.  When we allow these fearful occurrences to dictate the contents of our mind, we start a downward spiraling process that is difficult to turn around.  One fearful thought leads to another which leads to another.  This energy shows up in the way we interact with the world, sparking more of the same in those that we encounter.  YOU are the only person who can stop that fear in its tracks, and I’m hoping this little trick will help you do just that.

Our response to fear is natural, but that doesn’t mean that we have to give it control.  When I notice myself getting sucked into the drama playing out on my TV or the fear being perpetuated on my Facebook feed, I take a moment first just to acknowledge it.  “Shit, Jillian…you are freaking out right now! Time to shut this crap down!”  I try to be compassionate with myself about it, rather than judgmental.  After all…it IS scary when so many unknowns are catapulting towards you.  I turn off whatever media is on or gently extract myself from the conversation at hand. I sit quietly and take a few deep breaths.  I repeat out loud to myself, “The only thing I have is this moment, and in this moment I am here, I am safe and I am happy.”  I try to remember that my fear will only draw more fear to me, and so being afraid is counterproductive.  The best way to combat fear is joy and love, and so I begin to remind myself of all of the things in my life at this very moment that I have to be joyful about…positive relationships, my goofy children, a job that I love, my breath, my yoga practice, my favorite tree in my back yard, my dogs, my spiritual connection with my higher power, etc.  I come back to my breath and typically, I notice an immediate difference.  My breathing is softer, calmer and more even.  I feel more centered and safe.  I am reminded of the multiple reasons I have to choose to be happy rather than bind myself in fear.

So why does this work?  I believe it’s because we are creating space between the trigger and the response.  Rather than allowing that first negative or fearful thought to spiral out of control, we are giving it the acknowledgement that it needs and setting a new course towards a more positive orientation.  The first few times you try it, it might feel fruitless, but, as with all things, practice makes perfect.  Try, try and try again, and hopefully sometime very soon, you will find yourself moving into calmer waters quicker than you thought possible.

We are all in charge of the energy we give to fear, because that energy starts a ripple throughout the entire Universe that must reverberate back to us.  Even taking baby steps to try to release your fear makes a huge impact on the collective whole of humankind.  You are a powerful being…use that power for love, kindness and good.  May the force be with you.  (Yes, said that, I did.  Mmm.)

To learn more about life coaching and how to start the process of turning your negative thoughts around, visit my website at http://www.jillianarenacyi.com

Open to Grace

17In Yoga Teacher Training, we are taught that opening up to grace is an integral part of our practice.  It’s that moment in a yoga class where your teacher is instructing you to settle into the space around you, let go of thoughts, worries and to-do lists that might be sabotaging your relaxation, and let yourself become present and aware so that you can receive your yoga practice.  In a dimly lit studio, sprawled out on your mat, with no disturbances other than the gentle sound of you and your neighbors breathing, soft music playing in the background of your thoughts, this can be a relatively easy and safe space to do just that…to completely let go.  After all, that’s why you are there in the first place, right?  What happens, though, when you’re not on your mat?  Opening to grace feels a lot more difficult to do when you are in the throes of your day to day activities, children arguing in the background, a pile of bills arriving in the mail, stacks of paperwork to get through at the office, a lawn to mow, and the mountain of laundry spilling out of your clothes hamper staring at you every time you enter your room.  However, these are the times when opening to grace is absolutely the most important.

Grace is defined by dictionary.com as “simple elegance or refinement of movement”, but to me, it is so much more than that.  It is a willingness to surrender to the truth that we are each going through exactly the things that will help us to become the best versions of ourselves, even (especially) in the moments where it feels completely the opposite.  It is the ability to find strength in our struggles and to participate fully and completely in all aspects of our lives, good, bad, scary, exciting, or otherwise.  It is the knowledge that our perception of what is happening in our lives is so much more important than the situations themselves, because the situations are impermanent.  It is the power to stand strong through the storms, holding firm to the knowledge that calmer waters are ahead of us and that there is an important lesson for our soul within each and every moment.  How amazing would it feel to bring the same peace, calm and quiet that you find on your mat, or out in nature, or in your bath (or whatever it is that you do to connect to this space) into the daily situations that are a natural part of life?  Well, you can, which is pretty good news.

Take a minute to inventory what’s going on in your life that’s stressing you out or causing worry or fear.  Write it all down.  Read it back to yourself without any judgement.  Instead, maybe you can find a little curiosity.  What is your soul trying to help you to learn by these difficult situations?  For most of us, our difficulties often become repeating patterns, causing us to feel like something is wrong with us or that we are just destined to always have this particular issue in our lives, but this couldn’t be farther from the truth.  These moments that challenge us are opportunities for us to get know ourselves better.  For example, if you are somebody who is constantly struggling financially and worried about how to pay the bills, this might be your soul telling you that your job is not in alignment with what you really want.  It may also be an indication that you have some limiting beliefs around money that need to be acknowledged and explored so that prosperous energy feels welcome to flow into your life.  If you find yourself struggling with relationship after relationship, perhaps it is your soul trying to urge you to look in a different place, or to learn to love yourself first so that you can openly receive true love back.  Maybe it is an indication that you subconsciously don’t feel worthy of love and so you are inadvertently pushing it away.

Remember, we attract the energy that we put out…like attracts like.  Therefore, it’s not what we WISH we believed or what we WANT to believe, but the actual beliefs stored deep, down within us, that are shaping our realities.  It can be scary to dig down and unearth them, but consider for a moment, a diamond.  My dear friend and colleague, Amy Lombardo, put this in such great perspective for me.  Diamonds are formed way down in the Earth’s mantle (about 100 miles deep), and start as chunks of coal.  It takes a tremendous amount of heat and pressure to create this sparkly gem, but once the work has occurred, the diamond is pushed to the surface naturally for all to enjoy.  Your thoughts are like these diamonds.  YOU have that same sparkly gem deep within in you, just waiting to be exposed to the heat so that it can emerge and shine brightly out to the world.  When you can accept that knowledge and open to grace, knowing that you have a deep well of untapped potential within you and the power to change your reality, the world opens back to you.  Your sparkly gems are naturally pushed to the surface and the Universe responds by shining back.

Where in this very moment can you open yourself to grace?  Where can you replace fear with curiosity, and hopefully learn something about yourself through the process?  Start right now.  The more that you practice this the easier it becomes.  Opening to grace is not something that needs to be confined to your yoga mat.  It is accessible in each and every moment to help you come back to center, find your calm and elevate yourself towards all of the possibility just waiting to be discovered within you!

If you need some help unearthing your spark, please visit my website HERE to learn more about transitional life coaching and my 12-week program, Ascend to New Heights.

 

Meet Your Inner Critic…And Knock That Punk Out

b937e1a0f68023b9ff853f630eb74f46_boxing-clipart-boxing-match-clipart_300-268

A couple of weeks ago, my husband walked in to my bathroom to find me sitting on the floor, head resting on my knees, sobbing uncontrollably.  Though his first impulse was probably to hightail it out of there, luckily I have the best hubbers EVA, so instead, he sat down next to me and cautiously asked if I was okay.  My answer…”NO, I’m NOT okay…I’m fucking awful!  Just awful!”  So there…glad that you asked?  As I started to list off all of the reasons I was doing so terribly, I began to come to the realization that all of the rage that I was feeling inwardly, I had been projecting outward to him and my kids for the past couple of weeks.  This, of course, just made me sob harder and feel worse because now, not only was I feeling awful, but I was also an asshole because I had been treating others awfully.  Geesh.  No pressure.  You know what, though?  The realization was SO freeing, because it allowed me to take a big, hard, necessary look at myself.

All of us are guilty of this at one point or another.  When we are feeling any type of disdain towards ourselves, we project it out onto those closest to us.  For example, think of a time where you felt guilty or angry at the way you had talked to your kids.  Next thing you know, you’re tearing into your spouse about the way that they are talking to the kids or over-disciplining or looking at them funny.  If you don’t have kids, think of a time where you were at work feeling underappreciated.  Suddenly you see a co-worker getting praised and you unconsciously start recognizing all of the things that co-worker has done wrong in the past few weeks.  I even made cupcakes for the manager’s birthday party last week…she didn’t bring shit, he can’t even remember to put the toilet seat lid down…eww…but they seem to think he’s so freaking smart, she’s such a suck-up, etc.  Maybe you don’t feel like you are making enough money and coincidentally you suddenly feel the need to lash out at your brother/sister/spouse/parent/friend for the way they are handling (or not handling) their finances.  You begin to judge what’s happening in other peoples lives, rather than peek under the hood and find the source of the discomfort within yourself.  Pretty shitty, right?  Yeah, I felt that way too.

As I melted down in my bathroom that day, I was flooded by the reality that I had been a real bitch the past couple of weeks.  I let everything out…all of the ways that I was angry, disappointed, aggravated, annoyed and disgusted with MYSELF, and each release allowed me to see how this feeling was being reflected out to those around me.  Hubbers would come home and tell me something positive that had happened in his day and I would respond by completely invalidating him in one way or another, simply because I didn’t feel positive myself.  My kids would be laughing and playing and being silly and I would get aggravated at how loud they were being, because I didn’t feel joyful.  All of this happiness was completely accessible to me, but I had allowed my own inner thoughts to essentially create a prison that kept me from enjoying it.

Now, it should be said that I am naturally a person that has big expectations of myself, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with setting big goals.  What I realized through this purge, however, was that I was putting up all of these big expectations without having any compassion for myself or acknowledgement that I am human.  Then, when I didn’t make a deadline or get the result that I was so attached to getting, I was feeling like a failure and thus began my old pal, Inner Critic, chattering away and reminding me of all of the ways I wasn’t good enough.  Man, when that voice gets started, she just doesn’t SHUT THE FUCK UP!  If we choose to listen to that voice, we can end up on a serious downward spiral, that only we have the power to stop.

Give yourself one day to really pay attention to the voice in your head.  What does it say to you?  Does it compliment you in that pretty dress or tell you that you look like a fat slob?  Does it pat you on the back for your witty remark or does it insist that you shouldn’t have made that stupid comment because nobody thought it was funny?  Does it cheer you on as you hit obstacles and keep moving towards your goal, or does it use these obstacles to discourage you by reminding you that you should have played it safe or that you should quit while you’re ahead?  A good way to gauge the volume of your Inner Critic is to really start to listen to it.  If the things this voice is saying to you are things you couldn’t imagine saying to somebody that you love, chances are that you shouldn’t be saying them to yourself.  The more awareness you bring to this voice, the more opportunities that you have to redirect those thoughts to a more compassionate voice within you.

Don’t be like me…don’t vomit your emotions onto your husband through a two-hour barrage of tears because your Inner Critic got so loud that you couldn’t shut it up!  Beat your Inner Critic to the punch.  Seek them out before they seek you out.  Pay attention to the thoughts in your head and demand compassion from yourself, way more than you demand perfection.  What I have found through this entire process, and the reason I’m sharing it with you, is that I am lighter, happier, freer and filled with gratitude at the amazing things in my life.  I know for a fact that I will never let my Inner Critic get that loud again because I love myself and I love the people around me and I love that they love me too!  That’s a whole lotta love.  You should get on this love-train.  It’s a fun place to be!

Learn more about me by visiting my website HERE, or join me on FACEBOOK to keep up with classes and events I have coming up.  Learn about my 12-week coaching program, “Ascend to New Heights” by watching THIS VIDEO INTERVIEW

 

“Compassion is a verb.”

compassionate-700x500

Thich Nhat Hanh once said that “Compassion is a verb”.  A verb is a word used to describe an action. Compassion is defined on Dictionary.com as “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune”; a feeling…a noun.  Although there is a clear paradox in these two definitions, Hanh’s statement is truly powerful. He is implying that compassion is not a passive state of being…it’s not just a feeling.  The state of compassion points us to a need for action.

The world is currently in a sad shape, so surrounded are we by hatred, fear, war, and adversity.  Countries are bombing one another over the very things we should be coming together over.  God, no matter what name you call Him/Her/It by, should be a unifying force between us, and yet our need to be right continuously throws up senseless barriers.  Natural disasters are wiping out countries that are living in absolute squalor, yet we have building materials stocking shelves in every Home Depot across the country, sitting unused.  Children across the world are starving, and here we are with a Publix on every single corner.  I could go on and on and on.    We have all experienced that moment, watching the news, sick to our stomach at the turmoil we are seeing on the screen, wondering how people can do these things to one another, to the planet, etc.  We watch helplessly on, feeling sympathy for others in their suffering and wishing there was something we could do about it.  However, can you imagine what kind of a world we could create if, together, we put some action behind these feelings?

This post is not meant to be depressing, nor is it meant to be a rant about all of the things we are doing wrong as a society.  It is simply meant to raise awareness.  How are YOU showing up each day?  Are you putting action behind your compassion?  It’s so easy to get caught up in the feeling of being one, small voice, but we are each so much bigger than that if we simply TRY to be heard.  One small voice becomes two small voices, and then three and four, and eventually hundreds of voices getting louder and louder and louder, until perhaps the day comes where our voices boom louder even than the poverty, louder than the hunger, louder than the bombs ravaging countries.  However, if we allow ourselves to fall back into this helplessness we may feel, we are relinquishing any power that we could potentially have to positively impact our future and the lives of those around us.

Each of us will leave our impact differently.  Maybe we become the voice for those without the resources to speak out, maybe we raise money for a cause we are passionate about, or maybe we fly abroad to volunteer in impoverished countries.  Maybe our role in the process is as simple as lending an ear to someone who needs to be listened to, or offering a smile and a hug to someone who is going through a tough time.  All of these acts, no matter how big or small, matter.  YOU matter!  Your voice matters.  Your decision to take action rather than submit to the world as it is, matters.  SO. VERY. MUCH.

As we approach a new week, I urge each and every one of you to use each day within it to take some form of action.  Where does your compassion draw you?  What cause, circumstance, person, or charity needs your one, small voice, so that theirs can grow loud enough to be heard?  Start simple.  Write a blog, send a love letter, share a smile, buy the guy in line behind you a cup of coffee without telling him.  Every act of compassion ignites a spark in its recipient and any others lucky enough to watch it happen.  Be that spark.  We are all one family, all wanting the same things from this life.  Safety, security, happiness, triumph, peace, and love.  You, no matter who you are, have the opportunity to help provide these things to people all across the board, whether you know it or not.  Your one, simple smile could be just the thing that ignites the spark in another, who then goes off to change the world.  You never know how powerful you are, but know that you are far more powerful than you think.

Visit my website HERE or follow me on FACEBOOK HERE