Author: Jillian

I am a lover of yoga, the outdoors, my children, my slobbery dogs, devouring books, learning, and my amazing hubbers. I am lucky enough to live my passion teaching yoga and helping others explore their paths through life coaching. I am a firm believer that we can create anything we want in this life and I love helping my clients attain their every goal. Visit me at www.jillianarenacyi.com

When the Earth Slept: A Quarantine Fairy Tale

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Picture Created by Melissa Wooten Art

*Due to the overwhelming response I have received from this story, it is currently in the process of raising funds to be published.  If you’d like to support this journey by pre-ordering a copy, please do so HERE.  You can also share this story with others who may benefit from it!  Thank you SO much for your help!

Once upon a time the Earth got VERY sick. Her temperature rose and rose and rose until it erupted into a slew of wildfires that ravaged the land. She shook with chills, causing massive earthquakes and every time she sneezed, torrential winds kicked up. The people called them tornadoes and hurricanes. She cried because she felt so awful and her tears created floods that washed over the soil.  Try as she might, the Earth could not get her sickness to go away. There was simply too much that she had to do to support all of the living organisms walking along her surface and she was not able to get the rest that she needed to heal and thrive again.  She thought and she thought, and she thought, until finally she came up with a solution. She would look to the people to help her.

So, she came to the people and she asked them to go their homes.

She asked them to spend time with their loved ones and to close their doors and to stay inside for a while so that she might get the rest that she needed without having to worry about them and take care of them.  So that she could rest her weary spirit, just for just a while.

At first, the people felt wary and afraid. They had never been asked to close their doors and stay inside. How would they keep themselves busy? How would they work and make money? How would they entertain themselves if the stores and the movie theaters and the bowling alleys and the playgrounds were all closed? They crossed their arms and shook their heads no and the Earth wept harder and the floodwaters rose. She shook with despair and the grounds cracked beneath the people’s feet.

Eventually, after watching the Earth continue to struggle and realizing the damage that her struggles were doing to her, the people began to talk to one another.

“We would not allow our own kind to suffer this way without rest,” some of them exclaimed. “We must give her the chance to sleep and heal as she carries so much responsibility on her strong shoulders,” they said.

And so, it was decided. The people shut down their shops and their movie theaters and their bowling alleys and their schools. They cancelled their plans to fly away for vacations and they agreed to postpone their meetings and their get-togethers and their parties. They went into their homes with their loved ones and they closed their doors.

Then a heavy silence fell over the Earth. Gone was the din of cars swooshing past one another on the roadways. Gone were the sounds of jet engines roaring overhead. Gone was the clanging of hammers and the growl of power tools as construction came to a halt.

The Earth took a deep breath in and let a giant exhale out as she settled in to nap.  She was lulled to sleep by only the sounds of the birds chirping, and the crickets playing lovely tunes; the wind whispering through the trees, and the gentle crash of the waves upon empty shores.

Many suns rose and set, and the moon cycled from new to full and back again. Meanwhile, behind their closed doors, many of the people became restless. They had not yet learned to appreciate the stillness and the quiet.  They were afraid of the unknown; afraid of how long the Earth might sleep. They wondered if they should wake her. They talked together and decided that they should try to.

And so, on a beautiful, early morning, just as the sun was peaking over the horizon, the people went outside and they began to dance. They started slowly at first, hoping that the gentle rhythm of their feet drumming against the Earth would tenderly wake her from her slumber. Still, she slept. The people began to dance faster. Still, she slept. And so, the people began to jump and yell and shake their bodies, twirling in circles and prancing across the Earth.

Still, she slept.

Yet somehow, as the people danced, they forgot that they were trying to wake the Earth from her slumber. They realized, as they moved and shook and allowed joyful sounds to burst from their mouths, that they were reviving an old song together. One that had not been sung for many, many years but that they felt rise up from deep within them.  They felt cheerful and connected to one another, some of them for the first time in ages. They smiled and laughed. They felt appreciation for one another and for their strong bodies and capable hearts.

As this shift happened in the minds of the people, the Earth finally began to stir. She stretched her long limbs and blinked her eyes opened. She looked about and saw beautiful things happening all around her. Animals that she had not seen in long passages of time crept slowly out of hiding to drink from her rivers and streams. Thick smog that had hung heavy over the mountaintops began to dissipate and she was able to see snow-capped peaks that had been hidden from her view for ages. She took a big, deep breath in and noticed that the air tasted sweeter and cleaner. She saw the now crystal-clear oceans shimmering in the distance.

And then, she saw the people. All of them dancing together, creating beautiful music, rejoicing in each other and massaging her skin with their rhythmic steps.

She felt the sickness slowly leaving her body. Deep within her core, a stirring began, like a small flame flickering in the breeze. As she continued to watch the people, the flame began to grow and grow and grow. The more that the people danced and sang and rejoiced, the more powerful this warm buzzing in her center became. She realized that their joy and love and connectedness were her medicine and she felt stronger and stronger still as she observed them.

The people, lost in their exhilaration, had stopped thinking about their stores and their bowling alleys and their money and their vacations. She noticed that they were remembering, instead, their deep connection to each other, to her, and to all the ways that she supported them. As she healed, they began to heal and as they began to heal, so continued her healing. They were part of the same and were learning to work together in new ways. However, the people knew they could not dance forever. So, one day, they stopped dancing.

When they did, they took the time to look around them and they too began to notice the animals coming out of hiding, the icy mountain tops in the distance, the crystal cleanliness of the air and the beautiful blues and greens of the oceans.  As Earth once again allowed her people to come back outside and enjoy her many natural playgrounds, she noticed that they did so with a new respect and sense of wonder.  They took greater care to keep the beautiful Earth clean and to honor her wildlife. They took the time to learn more about her plants and the natural medicines they could provide.

They devoted their energy to finding solutions to heal the very things that had been making their beautiful Earth sick in the first place.

As the people took better care of the Earth, the Earth responded with great love. She offered up new resources for the people to use to keep her soil and waters and air clean.  She granted their wish for more knowledge and taught them the ancient ways that they had become so disconnected from. She continued to show them the beauty of simplicity and encouraged them to take the time to dance whenever they felt called to do so.  Together, the people and the Earth created a new way of being.

And so, they all lived happily ever after.

Learn more about this story by clicking HERE.

When the Earth Slept

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Once upon a time the Earth got VERY sick. Her temperature rose and rose and rose until it erupted into a slew of wildfires that ravaged the land. She shook with chills, causing massive earthquakes and every time she sneezed, torrential winds kicked up. The people called them tornadoes and hurricanes. She cried because she felt so awful and her tears created floods that washed over the soil.  Try as she might, the Earth could not get her sickness to go away. There was simply too much that she had to do to support all of the living organisms walking along her surface and she was not able to get the rest that she needed to heal and thrive again.  She thought and she thought, and she thought, until finally she came up with a solution. She would look to the people to help her.

 

So, she came to the people and she asked them to go their homes. She asked them to spend time with their loved ones and to close their doors and to stay inside for a while so that she might get the rest that she needed without having to worry about them and take care of them.  So that she could rest her weary spirit, just for just a while.

 

At first, the people felt wary and afraid. They had never been asked to close their doors and stay inside. How would they keep themselves busy? How would they work and make money? How would they entertain themselves if the stores and the movie theaters and the bowling alleys and the playgrounds were all closed? They crossed their arms and shook their heads no and the Earth wept harder and the floodwaters rose. She shook with despair and the grounds cracked beneath the people’s feet.

 

Eventually, after watching the Earth continue to struggle and realizing the damage that her struggles were doing to her, the people began to talk to one another.

 

“We would not allow our own kind to suffer this way without rest,” some of them exclaimed. “We must give her the chance to sleep and heal as she carries so much responsibility on her strong shoulders,” they said.

 

And so, it was decided. The people shut down their shops and their movie theaters and their bowling alleys and their schools. They cancelled their plans to fly away for vacations and they agreed to postpone their meetings and their get-togethers and their parties. They went into their homes with their loved ones and they closed their doors.

 

Then a heavy silence fell over the Earth. Gone was the din of cars swooshing past one another on the roadways. Gone were the sounds of jet engines roaring overhead. Gone was the clanging of hammers and the growl of power tools as construction came to a halt. The Earth took a deep breath in and let a giant exhale out as she settled in to nap.  She was lulled to sleep by only the sounds of the birds chirping, and the crickets playing lovely tunes; the wind whispering through the trees, and the gentle crash of the waves upon empty shores.

 

Many suns rose and set, and the moon cycled from new to full and back again. Meanwhile, behind their closed doors, many of the people became restless. They had not yet learned to appreciate the stillness and the quiet.  They were afraid of the unknown; afraid of how long the Earth might sleep. They wondered if they should wake her. They talked together and decided that they should try to.

 

And so, on a beautiful, early morning, just as the sun was peaking over the horizon, the people went outside and they began to dance. They started slowly at first, hoping that the gentle rhythm of their feet drumming against the Earth would tenderly wake her from her slumber. Still, she slept. The people began to dance faster. Still, she slept. And so, the people began to jump and yell and shake their bodies, twirling in circles and prancing across the Earth. Still, she slept.

 

Yet somehow, as the people danced, they forgot that they were trying to wake the Earth from her slumber. They realized, as they moved and shook and allowed joyful sounds to burst from their mouths, that they were reviving an old song together. One that had not been sung for many, many years but that they felt rise up from deep within them.  They felt cheerful and connected to one another, some of them for the first time in ages. They smiled and laughed. They felt appreciation for one another and for their strong bodies and capable hearts.

 

As this shift happened in the minds of the people, the Earth finally began to stir. She stretched her long limbs and blinked her eyes opened. She looked about and saw beautiful things happening all around her. Animals that she had not seen in long passages of time crept slowly out of hiding to drink from her rivers and streams. Thick smog that had hung heavy over the mountaintops began to dissipate and she was able to see snow-capped peaks that had been hidden from her view for ages. She took a big, deep breath in and noticed that the air tasted sweeter and cleaner. She saw the now crystal-clear oceans shimmering in the distance.

 

And then, she saw the people. All of them dancing together, creating beautiful music, rejoicing in each other and massaging her skin with their rhythmic steps. She felt the sickness slowly leaving her body. Deep within her core, a stirring began, like a small flame flickering in the breeze. As she continued to watch the people, the flame began to grow and grow and grow. The more that the people danced and sang and rejoiced, the more powerful this warm buzzing in her center became. She realized that their joy and love and connectedness were her medicine and she felt stronger and stronger still as she observed them.

 

The people, lost in their exhilaration, had stopped thinking about their stores and their bowling alleys and their money and their vacations. She noticed that they were remembering, instead, their deep connection to each other, to her, and to all the ways that she supported them. As she healed, they began to heal and as they began to heal, so continued her healing. They were part of the same and were learning to work together in new ways. However, the people knew they could not dance forever. So, one day, they stopped dancing.

 

When they did, they took the time to look around them and they too began to notice the animals coming out of hiding, the icy mountain tops in the distance, the crystal cleanliness of the air and the beautiful blues and greens of the oceans.  As Earth once again allowed her people to come back outside and enjoy her many natural playgrounds, she noticed that they did so with a new respect and sense of wonder.  They took greater care to keep the beautiful Earth clean and to honor her wildlife. They took the time to learn more about her plants and the natural medicines they could provide. They devoted their energy to finding solutions to heal the very things that had been making their beautiful Earth sick in the first place.

 

As the people took better care of the Earth, the Earth responded with great love. She offered up new resources for the people to use to keep her soil and waters and air clean.  She granted their wish for more knowledge and taught them the ancient ways that they had become so disconnected from. She continued to show them the beauty of simplicity and encouraged them to take the time to dance whenever they felt called to do so.  Together, the people and the Earth created a new way of being.

 

And so, they all lived happily ever after.

“If You Believe in Magic, Come Along With Me….”

fairy_forest_3_v3I was driving along in the car with my mom one day when somehow it came up in conversation that I believe in mermaids.  My mom chuckled a little bit, rolled her eyes and kept driving.  A few moments passed, and when I didn’t follow up my statement with any other thoughts that might prove my sanity, she looked at me a little funny and said, “Wait, are you serious?  You seriously believe in mermaids?”  I nodded my head matter-of-factly and continued that I also believe in fairies, sprites, unicorns…the whole lot of enchanted beings that have shown up over hundreds and hundreds of years through storytelling and folklore.  She reminded me that I was 37 and, confused by my lack of logic, she asked me why.  My answer was quite simple…why not?

This conversation has kept me thinking.  Why is it acceptable to believe in some things that we haven’t seen, but ludicrous to believe in other things we haven’t seen?  For example, we have been taught since childhood that all things are created from matter and that matter is created from even smaller particles known as quarks and leptons.  Have you ever seen a quark?  How about a lepton?  Yeah, me neither.  Okay…you may argue that these things have been proven scientifically, so I’ve got another one for you.  Did you know that over 80% of the world has some sort of religious or spiritual affiliation, the majority of which believe in a God or Gods who have not been personally met, an afterlife that has yet to be experienced by those of us still living here in this plane and countless tales of miracles spanning centuries?  Just based on statistics, that means that roughly 8 out of your 10 closest friends believe in something magical, incredible and unseen.  You may even be one of them.

I’m not expecting you to lump your spiritual beliefs, scientific evidence of matter and the idea of fantastical creatures into the same boat.  Obviously, they mean different things to different people and that is more than okay.  What I am asking is if you can broaden your worldview enough for a brief moment to include the possibility of all of these things, whether you firmly believe in them or not.  Our egos have a funny way of shutting down the things that we cannot understand, which is the root cause of so many conflicts within the world and even in our personal relationships.  Ego causes us to set our jaw, draw back our shoulders and stand firm in the belief that our truth is the only truth, but how do we really know?  How do we know what is possible, or even what is real?  The fact is that we believe in things that are beyond our comprehension because they offer us hope, direction, and joy…and sometimes, just because we can feel it with all of our senses to be true.  Consider a quiet moment sitting in nature, a peaceful meditation, the feeling of falling in love or of having your prayers answered…you can feel your connection to things unseen in those moments, even if you can’t see them with your physical eyes.

Our perception is the filter through which our entire life is colored.  When we can take the time to see through brighter filters, so much possibility opens to us.  We become less judgmental of others and more sensitive to the world around us.  Magic seems to dance within us and we start to recognize that magic in others.  We become freer and lighter, curious and delighted, knowing that there are surprises around each and every corner.  It’s not about knowing for sure so much as it is about being sure that we don’t know it all yet and being okay with that.

What would it feel like to shed some of your doubt and step fully into an existence full of infinite possibility?  Speaking from my own experience, I can say that stepping out of my cynicism and truly learning to embrace the unknown that surrounds me has given me a sense of peace, curiosity and wonder that I haven’t known since childhood.  It’s allowed me to stop trying to be in control of everything, and instead learn to sit in the discomfort of not knowing with a deeper understanding that things always work out the way that they are meant to, even if I can’t quite comprehend why in the moment.  It feels a bit like freedom from so much of the conditioning that I have picked up on my journey, and I’m okay with that.

I invite you to give it a shot yourself.  What can you open up to?  You might be amazed at how it shifts the way you see the world.

If you’d like to inquire about one-on-one coaching with me, please fill out the form below to reach out.  I will do my best to get back to you within the next 24-hours.

Jillian Arena is a Certified Transitional Life Coach, RYT-200, and Reiki Practitioner.  She uses her training in each to help her clients around the globe achieve maximum clarity, happiness, and possibility out of life!  For more on working with Jillian, visit her website HERE.  You can also sign up for her FREE 30-Days to Joy Challenge.

10 Free and Simple Things You Can Do Today to Make Somebody Smile

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As a general rule, I will pretty much do whatever it takes to elicit a good laugh out of somebody.  I’ve been known to do things like what you’re seeing in this picture for pretty much my whole life.  This particular instance was because my dear friend Julia, who you see in the background about to wet herself, was having a rough day and I took it upon myself to do what I could to make it better.  As you can see, it worked pretty well.  Now, please don’t get me wrong here.  I’m not suggesting that in order to make the world around you a lighter place you need to Scotch tape your face.  In fact, I don’t recommend it.  If I remember correctly, it really hurt to pull that shit off my eyebrows.  What I am suggesting, is that there is literally ALWAYS something that you can do to brighten up somebody’s day, and it takes such little effort.  Read on to discover 10 easy ways you can bring a little positive flair to somebody’s day starting now!

1.  Smile

Yep, legit the easiest way to help another person experience some joy in their lives is to smile at them.  You weren’t born with that beautiful visage for nothing!  Put what yo’ Mama gave you to good use by sharing it with the world.  You’ll most certainly inspire the recipient to do the same.

2.  Listen

Your ears…also there for a reason (other than being able to jam out to some really good tunes while lead-footing it down the interstate).  How often do you feel like nobody’s listening to you?  Sometimes all it takes is slowing down long enough to truly hear another person that will leave them beaming from ear to ear.

3. Crack a Joke

Sometimes life gets messy and really serious and it’s hard to see beyond the chaos that’s happening in the moment.  Dropping a relatively stupid and well-intentioned joke can be just the medicine to remind another person that this too shall pass and it’s okay to laugh.

4. Write a Letter

Let’s just be honest…it’s freaking awesome to get an ACTUAL letter in the mail.  Seriously, I’m just going to own it…my husband and I literally race each other down the driveway if we happen to both be home when the mail carrier comes.  90% of the time we find ourselves inundated with junk mail and bills we don’t want to open, but every once in a while there’s an unexpected letter and it’s like Christmas morning!  It feels good to know that people are thinking of you even though they might not be around.

5. Compliment Them

I’m not talking some sideways compliment solely intended to instill a feel-good factor.  I don’t do bullshit and I would recommend you avoid it too.  People see right through that and if they smile, it’s probably a bit of bullshit back at you.  No, I’m talking a real, genuine compliment that comes from your heart and reminds the person receiving it that they are valued.  One or two kind words can go a very long way in changing the course of somebody’s day.

6. Tempt Their Tummy

Why?  Um…because FOOD!  Yes, because FOOD is amazing and delicious and it makes people feel full and when people feel full of yumminess their brains send off little, happy signals all throughout the rest of their bodies and that makes them smile.  Also, because when you give people delicious food, they will feel compelled to share and that will make you smile too.

7. Random Acts of Kindness

There is something so incredibly gratifying about anonymously performing an act of kindness.  Donate your old towels to an animal shelter, leave your unused coupons somewhere the next guy might find them or let somebody merge into your lane of traffic even though you are in a rush (preferably without flipping them the bird).  These simple acts can help to change somebody’s day and who knows…they might even pay it forward.

8. Be True to Yourself

Believe it or not, one of the best ways you can make somebody smile is by owning yourself unapologetically.  People want to live out their own dreams, and when they see somebody else doing it, it’s a reminder that it’s possible for them too.  Why do you think those videos of human beings picking up cars and jumping from rooftop to rooftop trend so hard on social media?  Uh, because it’s freaking awesome, duh!  I’m not suggesting that you should attempt to walk on fire or swim the English Channel in nothing but your Speedos (unless that’s your thing), but embrace what makes you unique and let it shine.  People love to smile at that stuff!

9. Make Them Something

Again, people like to see other people doing what makes them happy.  When you are being creative, you are expressing yourself by doing something that makes your heart sing.  Passing this expression onto another person is like saying, “Hi, this is a big chunk of my heart that makes me super happy to create.  Would you like a piece of it?  Maybe it will make your heart smile, too.”  I mean, that’s a pretty awesome thing to share!

10. Scotch Tape Your Face

Well, c’mon…it works!  I mean, go back and take a look at that picture.  The girl is legit about to fall out of her chair.  Mission accomplished!  If all else fails, you always have this to fall back on.

Now that you know a few really, excruciatingly easy ways to spread some joy, get off your buns and go do it!   None of this takes money, a college degree, an abundance of creativity, or even very little energy.  All it takes is the genuine desire to share some love and make the world a better place, one smile at a time.  Go get ’em.

If you’d like to inquire about one-on-one coaching with me, please fill out the form below to reach out.  I will do my best to get back to you within the next 24-hours.

The Art of Loving Yourself

Jillian Arena

Who are You Comparing Yourself To?

When you stop and think about it, we spend an awful lot of time judging ourselves.  We compare ourselves to our friends, family members, classmates, or acquaintances.  We look around and wish that we had better hair, a thinner waist, bigger breasts, or a prettier smile.  Where does this get us?  What have we accomplished at the end of the day when we look in the mirror?  Have we managed to successfully change the texture of our hair, lose 40 pounds around the middle, enhance the size of our chest, or alter our most beautiful attribute, our smile?  Unless we happened to be doing all of this judging on a day when we had some big procedure scheduled, the short answer here is no.  It is a complete and utter waste of time and brain power.  In fact, all we are really doing when we judge ourselves is feeding into the false belief that we are not enough.  The most ironic part about it is that the people we are comparing ourselves to are likely doing the same thing to themselves.  It’s a ruthless and neverending cycle that gets us nowhere.  So, who are you comparing yourself to?

Why Does it Matter?

Get up right now and go look in the mirror.  No really, go…like NOW!  Investigate the face, the body and the personality staring back at you and notice what comes up.  Where do your thoughts go?  Do you hone in on the pimple that decided to grace you with its presence this morning, the three gray hairs that miraculously appeared out of nowhere, or the bags under your eyes?  Maybe your mental chatter starts to tell you that you look okay and then that distinct voice of your inner critic comes in to remind you that you snort when you laugh or you talk too loudly.  Listen very closely to the internal dialogue that’s taking place.  What are you telling yourself about yourself?  If you find yourself singing your praises, I congratulate you!  Well done.  If, on the other hand, you find yourself spiraling into a vortex of slinging insults at your poor, unsuspecting mirror-image, take a deep breath and think about something.  Imagine for a moment that it’s your mother, or your sister, or your very best friend standing in front of you.  Would you say those things to her?  Would you call her out on her blemish or remind her that she is a beautiful person?  Would you whip out a box of hair dye or not even notice?  Would you ask her to laugh so you could make fun of her snort or go on snorting right alongside her?  Chances are good that you would probably just love her, support her, and completely overlook those things that she might fault herself for.  Why can we do it for others, but not for ourselves?  We need to be championing ourselves as much as we do for others and when we can’t do that we are hurting the very fabric of our being.  The fact is that we are all uniquely beautiful and special and talented and fierce in the perfect combination.  When we can’t learn to see that, we are perpetuating the idea that nobody is ever good enough, so we aren’t even just hurting ourselves anymore, but all that we interact with.  When we can embrace ourselves, good, bad, and ugly, however, we create space to allow others to do the same!

What Happens When You Learn to Accept?

If you know me today, you probably don’t think of me as a person who is shy or holds back much.  The truth, however, is that I went through a very long time where I couldn’t stand myself.  I was constantly scrutinizing, comparing, and wishing that things were different.  After I had my children and my body changed, I got even worse!  What had they done to me????  Why was there no warning???  Where had my body disappeared to?  Slowly and gradually I learned to shift my perspective.  Instead of seeing my lack of a six-pack, I looked to my children and found gratitude that I had been lucky enough to carry them.  Instead of seeing my gray hair as an impending sign of doom, I chose to focus on the joy of the moment and use them as a reminder that each second counts.  Where I once saw lines around my eyes, I began to see a lifetime full of laughter.  The creases around my mouth became a memory of so many smiles and frowns…a remembrance of the full breadth of my ability to feel.  The worry lines at my brow have now become a reminder of my strength and resilience as I’ve learned to navigate situations that I didn’t know if I would ever get through.  The freckles and uneven skin tone, a beautiful expression of all of the days I have been lucky enough to dance under the sun.   In short, I have learned to love myself, and the freedom that has come with it is the biggest gift!  You can do it for yourself as well!

It Starts Small…

As with anything in life, start small!  Starting today, focus on one thing that you really, really, really like about yourself.  It might be your crooked smile, the color of your eyes, your flawless complexion, or even your contagious laughter!  If you have no idea where to start, ask a friend what your best attribute is.  Start with that and love it so fiercely that nothing could stop you.  Everytime you pass by a mirror stop and adoringly describe to your reflection how much you love that one thing about it or pause after every giggle and thank yourself for the beautiful sound of it.  Do this for a week and notice what happens.  You’ll likely find that during this process other parts of you begin to look a bit more appealing as well.  Start to give those a shout-out too!  Keep this process going, adding on one new physical attribute or personality trait each week and before you know it, you’ll be staring back at a much more confident, whole, happy individual.  You are different, and that’s the best thing about you.  Embrace those things that set you apart instead of wishing they were something else and you are FREE from the judgment of the world around you.  Sounds pretty good, right?  Awesome, so stop reading this, get off your bum and go find a mirror!  Your newfound confidence awaits!  Once you’ve got it fully intact, CLICK HERE to use it to build the life of your dreams!

Jillian Arena is a Certified Transitional Life Coach, RYT-200, and Reiki Practitioner.  She uses her training in each to help her clients around the globe achieve maximum clarity, happiness, and possibility out of life!  For more on working with Jillian, visit her website HERE.

Questioning Your Discomfort

comfort zone

I was reading a book the other day that, while extremely interesting, left me feeling unsettled.  After a few chapters, I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore.  I closed the book and decided to busy myself with something else, but this nagging feeling kept coming back to me that I needed to figure out why this was bothering me so much.  Reluctantly, I decided that I would sit in a quiet meditation and try to figure out what it was that was causing me so much aggravation, and…

What I found out actually surprised me very much!

I consider myself to be extremely open-minded, particularly when it comes to the area of spirituality.  I firmly believe that each of us is fully entitled to their own belief system and that the fundamental message of each form of spirituality is the same one of love and gratitude.  So, imagine my shock when I realized that the reason I was feeling so much discomfort at what I was reading is that it was making me seriously question parts of the spiritual belief system that I have held so long to be true for myself.  At first, this realization only made the discomfort grow stronger, and that nagging urge to go busy myself with other things returned.  I didn’t give in, however.  Instead, I made the resolution to sit with it until I could get a good, hard look at it and figure out why it was so powerful in swaying my mood in the first place.

The longer I sat, the more I began to understand that the discomfort I was experiencing was actually that of

EXPANSION, GROWTH, AND CHANGE.

The things that I had been reading were making me open my mind to some potential truths that I hadn’t yet considered.  So, here I was, at a pivotal moment where I got to choose the next step.  I could shut down this expansion and choose to crawl back into the box of my comfort zone mentality, or I could choose to learn to be okay with the discomfort and look at this new information objectively.  As you can likely imagine, I chose the latter, and I found that almost instantly, the discomfort lost its power over me.

So, what does this mean?

Well, discomfort is a natural part of the ebb and flow of life.  We come up against it in any moment where our thoughts, beliefs, actions, or survival feel sufficiently challenged enough to make us question our way of being.  These are POWERFUL moments that can teach us amazing things about ourselves and about the truths of the Universe, God, Almighty, Consciousness, Divine Energy, or whatever else you might like to refer to your Source as.  The name is not important, but the teaching is!  Each place where we experience discomfort is an opportunity to hold a mirror in front of ourselves and to see what we have been allowing ourselves to remain blind to.  This doesn’t just pertain to the area of spirituality either.  This moment can occur in any situation.  The fact across the board remains that if something doesn’t hold some element of truth for you, it’s not going to elicit an uncomfortable reaction.  Why is that?

Because it doesn’t challenge what you believe to be true and is, therefore, of no threat or consequence.

If I came to you and told you that the sky was yellow, you likely wouldn’t feel any discomfort at that statement because you have a scientific understanding of why the sky is blue.  The facts that you have been offered support your idea of the truth.  If, however, I came to you and offered scientific evidence that the sky was yellow and that scientific evidence resonated with you and made sense on some level, you may begin to feel a stirring of discomfort in your soul.  Where is that stirring coming from?  These new facts have created an element of possibility that did not exist prior, and that makes us, as creatures of routine, extremely squeamish.  For the record, I have no such evidence, but it is a valid example of how we trick ourselves from knowing and understanding the truth.  The full truth is locked within our psyches and our souls, and moments of discomfort are like a finger poking at them and asking them to reveal themselves.

So, what’s the takeaway here?

The next time you find yourself squirming with that notion of extreme discomfort, get curious about it.  Rather than busy yourself to try to distract from it, take a moment to get quiet, sit with it, and figure out where it’s really coming from.  What does this new idea (or ideas) cause you to question about your current belief system?  What are the ramifications for you if this new information is actually true?  How does it change your perspective on the way things are?  You will likely find that there is plenty of room to entertain the possibility of a new truth and allow it to strengthen your foundation as opposed to crumbling it.  With this greater awareness of your personal truth, who knows what you might create?  If your fear and discomfort persist, click here for a little Jedi mind trick that will help you turn it around!  Happy hunting!

 

Jillian Arena is a Certified Transitional Life Coach, RYT-200, and Reiki Practitioner.  She uses her training in each to help her clients around the globe achieve maximum clarity, happiness, and possibility out of life!  For more on working with Jillian, visit her website HERE.

Building the Stairway to Your Own Personal Heaven

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Creating the life you dream of can feel daunting at times. After all, how the hell do you get from where you are to where you want to be? You may not even know where to start! I completely understand. When you look at the big picture, it can create fear, doubt, and insecurity. The good news is that it doesn’t have to. I’m going to share a little secret…

You’ve been doing things upside down!

Yep, upside down, even if it doesn’t seem like it. You’ve been standing at the bottom of your staircase, staring ALL THE WAY up to the top. Sounds right side up, right? Sure, but how much is it helping? You see before you a billion steps and a million things that could possibly go wrong. You begin to feel overwhelmed at the enormity of the work you are going to have to do to climb up the steep set of seemingly unending steps before you. You begin to shut down before you even get going. So, what now?

It’s time to stand on your head and change your perspective.

Imagine, if you will, that you are standing at the very top of this pretend staircase. The view is much better from up here. You can look back behind you and you begin to see very clearly everything that you needed to do to gain this new perspective. You see that each step has actually been built upon the steps beneath it…that there is a very real order to the way that things were done to get you where you now are. Now, grab a pen. Start to document these steps and break them down into smaller and smaller steps as you go. Let me give you an example:

You’re dreaming of becoming a published author…

First off, congratulations on a very noble dream. How are you going to do it? You have no experience, no connections, no money to self-publish…ah, forget it. It was just a pipe dream anyway, right? WRONG! Think bigger…think upside down. Imagine you are already a well-known published author, basking in the glory of staring at your name in glossy print on the front cover of your novel. Feel the feelings, get excited, and then turn around and look behind you. What did you do to get yourself here? Well, naturally, you got published, but before you could do that you had to entice a publisher and write a book. No big deal, right? UGH.

Don’t get stressed!

Keep going!

Break your goal down even further. In order to entice a publisher, you will need to have a well-edited book, so that will be one step in the process. You will also have to query publishers, so writing a query letter may be on your eventual to-do list. And naturally, in order to query you will need to know who might even be interested in your book in the first place, but hold on. What about the book? Well, writing it will require it’s own breakdown. You’ll have to come up with an idea, format an outline, flesh out individual chapters, figure out the best way to organize said chapters, create your character profiles. WOO. Keep going! Break each of these tasks down even further and further and further. Keep going until you can’t go any further. You may wind up with 534 individual steps, maybe more, maybe less. Now, organize them from first to last and start taking them, one simple step at a time.

Any goal is attainable by moving one step at a time!

If you run into overwhelm somewhere, that means a step is still too big. How can you break it down even further? How can you create a stairway where each step is built upon a solid foundation? How can you help yourself avoid feeling overwhelmed as you move towards your goals? Once you figure that out…

KEEP climbing!

Before you know it, you will be standing back up at the top of your staircase, but this time it won’t just be in your imagination. Don’t get daunted by how long it might take to attain your goal. Just remember that a step in any direction is progress. Standing still, on the other hand, is certain to keep you where you are.

If you need help creating a plan that will catapult you into the life you truly want to live, visit my WEBSITE and contact me today for a FREE CONSULTATION. I am excited to help you make your dreams your new reality.

Own Your Overwhelm Like a BOSS and Create the Life You Dream Of!

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What’s the one thing that’s really holding you back from living the life of your dreams? Is it your lack of college education? Is it your time constraints? Dwindling finances? Maybe it’s the fact that you don’t have a support system to back you up as you pursue them. Perhaps, it’s as simple as lacking self-confidence. Maybe, you’re not even sure what’s stopping you? Well, I am…and I’m happy to tell you it’s completely changeable!

In fact, it’s nothing more than a bit of overwhelm!

When we become overwhelmed, our bodies and minds get thrown into a tizzy! Suddenly, our big dreams begin to morph into a paralyzing series of tasks that feel way too big to tackle. Our minds flood with questions and insecurities. We find ourselves wondering which direction is the right direction, what the proper first step is, and why the hell we ever thought we could do this in the first place! Eventually, we convince ourselves fully that these dreams must belong to somebody else and we give up. We go back to living our quiet, “normal”, reasonably fulfilling reality and pretend that it’s enough. Sounds pretty awful when you look at it that way, right? Well, guess what?

You CAN make your dreams come true!

Are you really going to let a few fearful thoughts dictate what you can and cannot do with this one incredible life you get to live right now at this very moment? Damn right you’re not! At least not if I have anything to say about it! Why are we okay with being small and living mediocre lives? Why don’t we understand that our gifts, desires, and talents have been given to us so that we could share them with the world? Why don’t we believe that others might appreciate us and our dreams? Why don’t we believe in ourselves as much as we believe in EVERYBODY ELSE? If they can create the lives they are dreaming of, YOU CAN TOO! So, why haven’t you done it yet? Why is your overwhelm stopping you and standing in your way?

Because you don’t have a concrete plan!

You are most likely overwhelmed because all you can see is the big picture, but there’s SO much more than that. All of the successful people (however you define that word) you see around you…do you think their success just landed in their lap? No…it took a lot of little steps to build the momentum to get them where they are today. They knew the secret of creating a plan. They knew that looking at the whole mountain was counterproductive. They knew that they had to take things ONE step at a time.

“But, I don’t know what steps to take! If I knew them, I’d be taking them!”

I get it…I’ve been there too. In fact, I find myself there all the time, but I don’t let that deter me. You’ve heard it said, where there’s a will there’s a way, and sometimes finding the way just means getting creative! Do your research, learn a new skill that will get you closer to your dreams, surround yourself with people already living out the life you want for yourself! Eat it, sleep it, dream it, and do it! That’s the BIG thing that often gets overlooked. It’s not always the most popular viewpoint, but success takes work.

Success cannot happen without action!

What does success mean to you? Is it an abundant career, a satisfying relationship, a feeling of accomplishment as a parent, or finding the self-confidence to have it all? Whatever it means to you, I’m here to assure you that it is not as far out of your reach as you may believe it to be. You just have to create a plan! Take your overarching goal and break it down into action steps. Take those and break them down even further, and further still. Then, commit to taking ONE action step towards your goal each and every day. Before you know it, SHABAM…goal crushed!

Don’t doubt yourself!

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Every single person you encounter has had at least a few great moments of doubt, but what’s worse than doubt? I would say regret. There are so many people out there that should have written a book or won American Idol or fallen in love or turned their hair-brained idea into a multi-million dollar company, but they don’t do it because of their doubt. Then, somebody else comes along and does it and they are left to wallow in their regret. This is your one shot at this life! MAKE IT COUNT!

If you need some help creating a plan to move towards your best life, I would love to help you do it! Visit my website BY CLICKING HERE to learn more about life coaching and how it can help you create your best life yet!

The Power of a Tribe and Divine Female Energy

thumbnail (2)At first glance, you may look at the above picture and believe that I am lost in a powerful moment of prayer, breathwork, or meditation, but I am here to assure you that this is not at all the case.  In fact, when this picture was snapped unbeknownst to me, I was in the middle of the ocean on a beautiful, sunny day, skin kissed by a warm breeze, in the throes of the most terrifying and life-altering panic attack I have ever experienced in my entire existence.  In fact, the story I am about to share with you was quite honestly one of the most vulnerable and powerful moments of my entire life.

My weekend adventure immersing myself in the warm, calming flow, and bold, brilliant colors of the middle of the Atlantic ocean started out amazingly well.  As my best friend and I jumped into the water with our masks and snorkels, I was instantly engulfed in the beauty and mystery of the coral reef below me.  I spent forty-five fascinating minutes exploring before we decided to head back to the boat, take off our gear, and go for an unencumbered swim.  I removed my flippers and mask, ran to the back of the boat, and jumped right into the crystal clear water.  I remember a fleeting thought entering my consciousness…”The world is SO big and I feel so small right now.” and all of a sudden I was gripped by panic.  My body became instantly cold and numb as waves of fear washed from my head all the way down through my toes.  I felt as though I couldn’t breathe, my heart racing a million miles per minute.  I couldn’t get out fast enough and when I did, it took every effort to suck in enough air to prevent me from passing out.  With forty other people milling about, I’m sure you can imagine that it wasn’t exactly helping the onset of panic.  As I sat on the front of the boat trying desperately to calm myself down, a realization hit me that I was completely vulnerable out here.  If I was indeed dying in this moment (as my mind kept assuring me that I was), there was legitimately nothing I could do about it.

I made my way cautiously back to my seat and something of a miracle happened then.   As I lifted my gaze to focus on the horizon, my eyes caught those of a woman across from me who was probably in her late 50’s, early 60’s.  She mouthed, “Are you okay?” to me, and my usually stoic composure crumbled as I mouthed back, “No.”  Without hesitation, this woman crossed the deck, sat down next to me, and swept me up in her arms.  She softly reminded me to breathe and to close my eyes as she rocked me back and forth and wrapped me up in her towel.  Another woman brought me water, and yet another encouraged me to eat a small snack.  At first, my typical self-preservation kicked in and I resisted the temptation to curl into the unknown comfort of this mystery woman, but gradually, I felt myself allow her to draw me in and I rested my head on her shoulder as she continued to squeeze me close.  This amazingly beautiful woman held me like this for a full 45-minute boat ride, never even knowing my name or anything about me…and I allowed myself in that moment to let go of all of my defenses and be taken care of.

As we neared shore and I began to feel more at ease, I sat up a little straighter and looked around me.  One by one, every woman on the boat locked her gaze with me and nodded, almost as though they, too, were breathing easier for me.  I was later informed by my best friend that the moment my body curled into this woman who had been holding me, each woman on the boat sat up straighter and closed their eyes, taking deep, methodical breaths.  She said it was the most incredible thing she had ever seen.  I thanked my amazing Angel Mama (who I found out was named Anne), and although she humbly accepted the gratitude, I don’t truly know if she understands what she did for me.  I don’t know that any of those women do.  I am notoriously a person who takes care of herself and others.  Rarely do I allow myself the opportunity to be truly nurtured, particularly by strangers, but these beautiful women from all over the world who spoke probably six languages between them, came together in a stoic show of support to provide a safe container for me to experience the very real terror and weakness that I was feeling.  I don’t want to exclude the men here either, all of whom tapped into their own Goddess energy and supported me by offering a smile, a squeeze as I walked off the boat, or as far as Anne’s husband goes, his wife.

When we got back to my car, I let myself cry harder than I’ve cried in a long time.  We often move through life forgetting that we need others to support us in our moments of weakness, maybe even sometimes feeling like we don’t deserve to be supported.   When we can cross over those self-imposed blocks, we open to possibility and allow Universal love to flow to us and even through us.  The truth is, it is always there, even when we don’t see it, and the scary thing is that if we let our fear of looking weak or vulnerable become greater than our need for love and connection, we may stand to miss out on the incredible freedom and power it can bring into our lives.

What I experienced this weekend was the power of love, the power of a group of women working toward a common goal, the power of the Warrior Goddess energy that exists within each of us regardless of our sex, and the power of treating others as though they are not separate.  At the base of it all, we are all humans, needing, seeking, and desiring love, acceptance, and the right to be ourselves at any given moment.  These women and men gave me a gift that I will work hard to pass on to others in any way that I can.  We often have no idea how great of an impact our small acts of kindness might have on another person.  As far as Anne and the other passengers on that boat go, they have unknowingly helped to heal some long-existing wounds that have prevented me from fully allowing myself to become close to others, females in particular.  They have helped to birth a better version of myself and have encouraged me to pass that feeling along. Hopefully, this story inspires you to do the same.  Let your Warrior Goddess light shine bright…the world needs it so badly right now and always.

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