At first glance, you may look at the above picture and believe that I am lost in a powerful moment of prayer, breathwork, or meditation, but I am here to assure you that this is not at all the case. In fact, when this picture was snapped unbeknownst to me, I was in the middle of the ocean on a beautiful, sunny day, skin kissed by a warm breeze, in the throes of the most terrifying and life-altering panic attack I have ever experienced in my entire existence. In fact, the story I am about to share with you was quite honestly one of the most vulnerable and powerful moments of my entire life.
My weekend adventure immersing myself in the warm, calming flow, and bold, brilliant colors of the middle of the Atlantic ocean started out amazingly well. As my best friend and I jumped into the water with our masks and snorkels, I was instantly engulfed in the beauty and mystery of the coral reef below me. I spent forty-five fascinating minutes exploring before we decided to head back to the boat, take off our gear, and go for an unencumbered swim. I removed my flippers and mask, ran to the back of the boat, and jumped right into the crystal clear water. I remember a fleeting thought entering my consciousness…”The world is SO big and I feel so small right now.” and all of a sudden I was gripped by panic. My body became instantly cold and numb as waves of fear washed from my head all the way down through my toes. I felt as though I couldn’t breathe, my heart racing a million miles per minute. I couldn’t get out fast enough and when I did, it took every effort to suck in enough air to prevent me from passing out. With forty other people milling about, I’m sure you can imagine that it wasn’t exactly helping the onset of panic. As I sat on the front of the boat trying desperately to calm myself down, a realization hit me that I was completely vulnerable out here. If I was indeed dying in this moment (as my mind kept assuring me that I was), there was legitimately nothing I could do about it.
I made my way cautiously back to my seat and something of a miracle happened then. As I lifted my gaze to focus on the horizon, my eyes caught those of a woman across from me who was probably in her late 50’s, early 60’s. She mouthed, “Are you okay?” to me, and my usually stoic composure crumbled as I mouthed back, “No.” Without hesitation, this woman crossed the deck, sat down next to me, and swept me up in her arms. She softly reminded me to breathe and to close my eyes as she rocked me back and forth and wrapped me up in her towel. Another woman brought me water, and yet another encouraged me to eat a small snack. At first, my typical self-preservation kicked in and I resisted the temptation to curl into the unknown comfort of this mystery woman, but gradually, I felt myself allow her to draw me in and I rested my head on her shoulder as she continued to squeeze me close. This amazingly beautiful woman held me like this for a full 45-minute boat ride, never even knowing my name or anything about me…and I allowed myself in that moment to let go of all of my defenses and be taken care of.
As we neared shore and I began to feel more at ease, I sat up a little straighter and looked around me. One by one, every woman on the boat locked her gaze with me and nodded, almost as though they, too, were breathing easier for me. I was later informed by my best friend that the moment my body curled into this woman who had been holding me, each woman on the boat sat up straighter and closed their eyes, taking deep, methodical breaths. She said it was the most incredible thing she had ever seen. I thanked my amazing Angel Mama (who I found out was named Anne), and although she humbly accepted the gratitude, I don’t truly know if she understands what she did for me. I don’t know that any of those women do. I am notoriously a person who takes care of herself and others. Rarely do I allow myself the opportunity to be truly nurtured, particularly by strangers, but these beautiful women from all over the world who spoke probably six languages between them, came together in a stoic show of support to provide a safe container for me to experience the very real terror and weakness that I was feeling. I don’t want to exclude the men here either, all of whom tapped into their own Goddess energy and supported me by offering a smile, a squeeze as I walked off the boat, or as far as Anne’s husband goes, his wife.
When we got back to my car, I let myself cry harder than I’ve cried in a long time. We often move through life forgetting that we need others to support us in our moments of weakness, maybe even sometimes feeling like we don’t deserve to be supported. When we can cross over those self-imposed blocks, we open to possibility and allow Universal love to flow to us and even through us. The truth is, it is always there, even when we don’t see it, and the scary thing is that if we let our fear of looking weak or vulnerable become greater than our need for love and connection, we may stand to miss out on the incredible freedom and power it can bring into our lives.
What I experienced this weekend was the power of love, the power of a group of women working toward a common goal, the power of the Warrior Goddess energy that exists within each of us regardless of our sex, and the power of treating others as though they are not separate. At the base of it all, we are all humans, needing, seeking, and desiring love, acceptance, and the right to be ourselves at any given moment. These women and men gave me a gift that I will work hard to pass on to others in any way that I can. We often have no idea how great of an impact our small acts of kindness might have on another person. As far as Anne and the other passengers on that boat go, they have unknowingly helped to heal some long-existing wounds that have prevented me from fully allowing myself to become close to others, females in particular. They have helped to birth a better version of myself and have encouraged me to pass that feeling along. Hopefully, this story inspires you to do the same. Let your Warrior Goddess light shine bright…the world needs it so badly right now and always.
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HAPPY NEW YEAR! You made it! Congratulations! Here we are in 2018, a new year full of new possibilities. What will it hold for you? Maybe the goals that you set last year fizzled out quickly. Don’t give up! This is another chance and you CAN do it! Commit to your goals by finding an accountability buddy to keep you on track. No matter what they are, there’s a reason that you have them, so honor that, and honor yourself in the process. This is your chance to try again and go hard at whatever it is that you want to create! Remember that it only takes one yes, one success, one triumph for all of the no’s, failures, and losses. Your life can become whatever you want as long as you believe in yourself and keep working towards your goals each and every day. Let this be your year to shine! And if you need an extra hand, call me for a free consultation. Learn more at http://www.jillianarenacyi.com #newyearsresolutions #makeyourresolutioncount #dontgiveup #tryagain #2018goals #makeithappen #youcandoit #lifecoaching
Sometimes we can be left feeling sluggish and disappointed in the wake of the holidays. Maybe this past year didn’t help us meet the goals that we had anticipated or hoped to meet. Maybe 2017 was just a big disappointment. Are you going to let that stop you? I certainly hope not. Today is a brand new day and a brand new opportunity for you to shine bright and move in a different direction. We are put on this Earth to make a difference and to create beautiful, creative, exciting, joyful, love-filled lives for ourselves. There’s NOTHING mediocre about that and there’s nothing that can stand in your way of having it, other than yourself. You hold the key to unlock the life of your dreams. USE IT! You have no idea how much happiness is waiting for you! Call me today at 561-951-7045 for a FREE CONSULTATION and let’s start moving towards the life of YOUR dreams! http://www.jillianarenacyi.com #brandnewday #shinebright #createthelifeofyourdreams #dreamlife #youholdthekey #happiness #lifecoaching
Who says your dreams are far-fetched and crazy? I say, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE and the bigger your dreams are, the more exciting your life can become. Believe in your dreams, no matter how ridiculous or unattainable they may feel in this particular moment. You have a new year right around the corner. What are you going to do with it? Sounds like a great place to make some big, positive changes in your life and move TOWARDS those crazy goals instead of letting others talk you out of them. If you need help getting started, call me at 561-951-7045 for a FREE consultation or visit http://www.jillianarenacyi.com #crushyourgoals #goalsetting #newyearnewyou #freeconsultation #lifecoaching #givethegiftofsuccess
WORD TO THAT! Merry Christmas to you all! Let the holiday magic enter your heart and fill you with possibility. As the new year quickly approaches, give yourself the gift of knowing how amazing you are and what you are capable of! You are so much stronger, smarter, and more resilient than you know! http://www.jillianarenacyi.com #christmasmagic #timetobelieve #believeinmagic #believeinyourself #hohoho
It’s an epidemic and I hope that EVERYBODY catches it! Sometimes it’s easy to forget how amazing we are. We get stuck in comparing ourselves to others and looking at their lives through the lens they give us on social media. The fact is, nobody’s life is perfect and nobody’s life is better than yours because they are not YOU. YOU were put here for a very special purpose, with a personality and skill set that is unique to YOU! YOU are awesome because of this purpose and uniqueness, even if you aren’t quite sure yet what it is. Start to see within yourself what so many others see in you. Focus on what makes you great, strong, happy, different, and AWESOME and let all of your doubt diminish. It doesn’t make you cocky or arrogant or selfish to love yourself…it makes you a shining example to others who can’t quite find a way to love themselves yet. You can’t give to the world what you don’t realize you have, so take some time to start to realize it. If you need help unearthing these unique traits and talents that make you the brilliant, amazing soul that you are, call me for a free consultation at 561-951-7045 or visit my website at http://www.jillianarenacyi.com #youareawesome #ownyourgreatness #loveyourself #shineout #lifecoaching